


The Burden of Responsibility

by AgentFontySeven



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Adult Language, Baby Gaster, Brotherly Love, Fluff, Gen, Humor, Joking references to Fontcest, Mpreg, Non-Sexual Reproduction, Papyrus Being Papyrus, Pre-Undertale, Skeleton Pregnancy, Spoilers, Timey-Wimey, Weirdness, skelepreg
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-09
Updated: 2016-01-31
Packaged: 2018-05-12 19:18:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 31,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5677567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgentFontySeven/pseuds/AgentFontySeven
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Sans makes a mad bid to resurrect his long-dead father, W.D. Gaster's recovered soul suddenly goes missing, only to reappear in the most unusual of places. Hilarity and weirdness ensues. A strange fic for strange tastes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Second Chance

 Sans stood at the edge of the cliff overlooking the vast sea of molten lava, the shadow of the Core looming overhead. He wasn’t sure why he still came here, why he kept doing this to himself. How many years had it been since then? He really couldn’t keep track anymore, not because it had been quite _that_ long, but because he’d had to relive so much of it over and over again. He couldn’t even remember when he’d started remembering the ‘resets’. It had come on so gradually, just as a vague feeling at first, a feeling that something wasn’t quite right. Then came the déjà vu, then solid flashes of memory. Sometimes he wished he could have remained ignorant to it all, wished he could have lived his life without knowing any of this was going on behind the scenes. Of course, that was a childish, selfish wish, wasn’t it? After all, not knowing it was happening didn’t make the reality of it disappear. It just gave him an excuse to be lazy and do nothing about it.

 Sans stared down into the lava below, a mournful sigh escaping him. Was he just fooling himself into thinking it could be fixed at all? And, even if it could, did he really have it in him to be the one to fix it? He’d never been good with shouldering responsibility, especially when failure carried such a hefty price. He couldn’t help but wonder if things would be different if his father were still alive.

 Thus, the diminutive skeleton found himself once again at the Core, standing before his late father’s greatest invention, standing at the edge of the cliff where the former Royal Scientist had tragically died. W.D. Gaster… Surely, if anyone could figure out how to reverse the trend of these time lapses, it was him.

 “dad… i wish you were here…” Sans mumbled to himself under his breath. But wishing was futile. A monster’s soul couldn’t survive outside its body, not like a human’s soul could…

 Before he could continue his lamentations, a small glint of light caught his eye down below. It wasn’t normally something that would warrant his attention, just a faint shimmer of blue in an ocean of orange, but it was enough. He squinted, but he couldn’t quite make out what it was. Whatever it was, it seemed to be resting in a crevice in the steep slope of the cliff face, down by the lava. It would be suicide to climb down there and get it...

 Well, it was a good thing he didn’t have to climb, now wasn’t it? Sans removed a bony hand from the pocket of his hoodie, holding it out towards the object. A blue aura formed around his hand, and he quickly made a jerking motion upward. The object shot up towards him as if plucked up by an invisible hand, and it now floated before the skeleton’s face. It looked like a broken shard of some sort of crystal, shining with an all-too-familiar blue hue. It was probably just some piece of junk someone had dropped off the side of the cliff. He shrugged lightly and placed it in his pocket.

 “oh well… guess that’s life, ain’t it dad? garbage in, garbage out…”

 He then turned to leave and, in the time it took him to take half a step, he suddenly found himself standing ankle-deep in fresh, powdery snow. He felt a shudder rattle through his bones, a chill gripping at his soul. He had his ‘shortcuts,’ it was true, but… He hadn’t used them that time. He let out a shaky breath, his shoulders drooping. Another time reset… They were becoming more and more frequent lately. That couldn’t be a good thing. He hadn’t a chance to look around and get his bearings before he heard an impatient stomp in the snow next to him.

 “SANS!! ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME?! I’M TRYING TO EXPLAIN MY NEXT BRILLIANT PUZZLE TO YOU, YET ALL YOU’RE DOING IS STANDING THERE LOOKING ALL… _MOROSE!!_ I’M STARTING TO WONDER WHY I WASTE MY TIME TRYING TO HAVE A MEANINGFUL DISCUSSION WITH YOU.”

 The voice alone was enough to bring back the smile on Sans’s face. He turned his usual grin up towards his younger brother, giving the lanky skeleton an innocent shrug of his shoulders.

 “ah, c’mon. don’t be like that, papy. i was listening. besides, even if i _wasn’t_ , i know how much ya like hearing the sound of your own voice. i figured ya’d like it better if i just kept my yap shut and let you do all the talking.”

 Papyrus couldn’t help but narrow his eyes down at his diminutive elder brother, his slender arms folding themselves across his chest. He then turned his nose up with a huff.

 “HMPH! EMPTY FLATTERY WILL GET YOU NOWHERE.”

 Sans let out a small chuckle at that. It wasn’t exactly meant as flattery, but he’d let his brother think that if he wanted. After all, grown though he may be, Papyrus was still as naïve as he’d ever been. He seriously doubted his little brother would ever grow out of it. Not that he would change that for the world, of course. It was one of his more endearing qualities.

 He placed his hands in their usual spots in the pockets of his hoodie and was preparing to say something in reply to his brother’s comment – most assuredly something witty and hilarious – when something made him freeze dead in an instant. His eye sockets widened, his mouth hanging open slightly. No… No, that _couldn’t_ be… Finally, after a long moment in which time could have stood still for all he knew, he willed himself to move. He turned on his heel, dashing back towards their front door without another word.

 “SANS? WHAT’S WRONG? WHERE ARE YOU GOING?” Papyrus asked in sudden alarm, causing Sans to pause just before reaching for the door knob. He gave his brother a brief flash of a smile over his shoulder.

 “sorry, bro. gotta take a leak.” He replied hastily, trying to put a note of urgency in his voice. Papyrus’s expression immediately softened into an understanding smile.

 “OH. VERY WELL, THEN.” He replied evenly, making a small shooing gesture with his gloved hand. Sans didn’t bother waiting for permission, darting inside before his brother had even properly finished his short sentence. Papyrus stood there for nearly a full minute before the obvious finally dawned on him. His smile flicked away, his brows knitting together in sudden realization that he’d just been duped.

 “HEY, WAIT A MINUTE! WE DON’T EVEN _HAVE_ —“

 But it was far too late for protests now. Sans had already long since slipped away.

 

* * *

 

 

 Sans was in his room almost the instant he’d stepped into the house. As soon as he was securely behind a locked door, he hastily reached into his pocket. By all rights, what he’d pulled out a moment later shouldn’t have been there. It was the shard of a blue crystal, a faint magical glow emanating from it. The skeleton’s hands began to shake as they delicately held what just a few moments ago he’d dismissed as a piece of junk. The only problem was, that ‘few moments ago’ technically hadn’t happened. If he were to go by the conversation he’d been thrown in the middle of with Papyrus, he’d estimate this latest reset had sent him back about four or five days. If that was the case, how could he possibly still have something that he’d picked up only seconds before the reset occurred?

 “wh-what the hell is going on here…” he breathed out in utter disbelief. Not once had he ever encountered an object that ignored the time skips. Whatever this thing was… Could it somehow give him some clue as to how he could stop these temporal resets? He ran his thumb along the smooth, slightly curved side of the crystal. What could it even be?

 Before he could ponder too long on it, the crystal shard twitched of its own accord. Sans drew in a sharp gasp of surprise, almost dropping the damned thing. He held his breath, watching, waiting for it to move again. It did. Slowly, twitch by tiny twitch, the crystal spun itself around in his hand until the pointier end was aimed vaguely to his right side. After a moment of sitting idle in that position, as if getting impatient with him, it twitched again. This time, it seemed to shuffle across his palm slightly in the direction it was pointing. He gave the crystal a withering glare. Okay, jeez, he got the picture…

 He cast a glance in the direction the crystal was pointing, soon finding himself staring at the self-sustaining trash tornado in the corner of his room. Okay, what was the big deal about that? It had always been there. He was all set to dismiss it as the crystal simply having a ‘what the fuck is that?!’ moment when a glint of blue caught his eye.

 Sans’s hand immediately shot up, and the tornado froze in a shimmer of blue magic. He couldn’t help but stare for a long moment. There was the tiny shard of a blue crystal floating in the middle of the hodgepodge of debris. That had never been there before. He knew every scrap of junk in his room, and that had most certainly _never_ been there. He reached out and grabbed it.

 Both crystal shards now in hand, he stared down at them, examining them. What could they possibly be? Were they shards of the same thing? It almost looked as though they might fit together… He brought the two pieces together, and when they met, they immediately fused into one solid piece, not even the faintest remnant of a crack left to suggest that they’d ever been broken apart at all. In that same instant, the relative coolness of his room abruptly gave way to an oppressive, stifling heat.

 Sans looked up in alarm. He was back in Hotland? But why? Another reset? He couldn’t remember them ever having occurred so close together before. On impulse, he looked down in his hand. Sure enough, the crystal was still there, still fused into one piece. Even that hadn’t been affected by the reset.

 “Alphys might work faster. But the old Royal Scientist, Doctor W.D. Gaster?”

 Sans jolted slightly at the sudden strange voice coming from behind him, and he immediately turned to see who it was. The monster who stood there… He was sure he’d never seen him before. That in itself was odd enough. He knew _everyone_ in the Underground, even if they didn’t know him. But the feeling this creature gave him… it sent chills up his spine, like he was staring into an endless void. He looked vaguely feline, though he didn’t seem to have a face. All he could see was shadow. In one hand it held what looked like a shrunken human head.

 The creature’s odd appearance was secondary in Sans’s mind. What truly concerned him, what made him feel as though invisible claws were reaching out to grasp at his soul from beyond the veil of time and space, was what it had _said_. It had said the name of his _father_. But that was impossible! No one remembered his father, not even the king himself, who had originally appointed him as the first Royal Scientist! Not even… Well, he supposed Papyrus had an excuse for not remembering. He’d still been an infant when their father died, after all. It was as if all record of the old scientist had been wiped from the pages of history. All except Sans’s memories of him… and _this_.

 “what do you know about gaster?” he asked, trying not to look rattled by all of this. That thin façade of calm was shattered when the strange gray creature answered him. The reply didn’t come from the feline figure, but from the shrunken head it held in its hand.

 “One day, he vanished without a trace. They say he shattered across time and space.” The head’s eerily wispy voice paused for a moment, letting out a small chuckle that sounded as though it could have been the breathy moans of a hundred tortured souls. “How can I say so without fear? I’m holding a piece of him right _here_.”

 And with that, the shrunken head opened its mouth wide, a sickening black appendage snaking its way out. The surface of the strange tongue seemed to slowly melt away, black ooze slowly and viscously dripping away to reveal yet another shard of a broken blue crystal. Sans couldn’t help but draw in a sharp gasp. This was… This was a piece of _Gaster?!_ How could that be?! And how did this thing know about it? With a lingering air of hesitation, Sans reached out to grab the crystal shard being offered to him. The instant he did so, he suddenly found himself standing ankle-deep in fresh, powdery snow.

 “SANS!! ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME?! I’M TRYING TO EXPLAIN MY NEXT BRILLIANT PUZZLE TO YOU, YET ALL YOU’RE DOING IS STANDING THERE LOOKING ALL—HEY! WHERE ARE YOU GOING?! I’M NOT DONE WITH YOU!”

 Sans hadn’t even bothered to excuse himself from his brother’s ramblings before turning on his heel and darting into the house. He’d barely stepped through the threshold before he was in his bedroom once more. He stared down into his hands, his whole body trembling to the point that he could almost hear his bones rattling. They were still there. In his left hand he held the fused crystal from earlier, its smooth side curving into a gentle arch. In his right hand he held the crystal given to him by the strange creature, its shape vaguely resembling a check mark. Slowly, with more care than he could remember having ever used on anything in his life, he brought the two pieces together. They fused just like the ones from earlier, and now he could start to see a shape forming. It almost looked like the top crest of a heart-shaped crystal. He fought to keep his hands from shaking too much, fought to keep the significance of what he was now holding from overwhelming him. It was the shattered remains of a crystalized soul.

 More importantly, it was the remains of _W.D. Gaster’s_ soul.


	2. A Series of Supremely Bad Ideas

 Sans, for the first time in his life, felt like he couldn’t sit still. He was pacing back and forth across the floor of his room, waiting – actually _waiting_ – for the next time reset. Never had he dreamed he’d actually be _looking forward_ to such a thing! Of course, never would he have dreamed that he’d ever get his hands on shards of his late father’s shattered soul either. It had been… Oh, who knew how long it had been… Time became irrelevant when it kept resetting all the time. It felt like ages. Ages in which he scoured the Underground looking for more tiny shards of crystalized soul.

 They were getting harder and harder to find, but he was starting to figure out a pattern, at least. What the strange creature in Hotland had said seemed to ring true; W.D. Gaster’s soul seemed to have been scattered across time at the moment of his death. So far he’d been able to find only one shard each time everything reset. Sometimes he found nothing. The thought made his soul clench in his chest. What if he’d missed one? Could he find it again, or was it lost forever once time shifted away?

 Sans reached into his hoodie pocket, retrieving a chunk of glowing blue crystal. It was starting to take shape, the top of the heart clearly apparent, but he only had about a third of it here.

 “man… this is gonna take forever…” he grumbled impatiently to himself. Not that he was ungrateful for this unbelievable opportunity that had been presented to him. No, not at all. He’d search as long as it took to get his father back, but he was selfish enough to allow himself a small sliver of impatience. After all, the sooner he got all the pieces together, the better. Of course, he still had no idea what to do once he got them all. He’d have Gaster’s soul, sure, but what then? A soul needed a body, after all.

 Before he could wonder any further on that subject, he found himself standing waist-deep in a cold river. Sans didn’t waste any time. He climbed out of the water and started making his way down the bank, constantly glancing down at the piece of soul he held in his hand. He’d learned that the shards tended to react when they got close to one another, doing anything from glowing slightly brighter to trembling in the direction another piece was located. He took advantage of this, using it to guide him to the next piece. Gaster’s soul was already starting to tremble slightly. Good, he’d lucked out. It had to be somewhere nearby already.

 “SANS? WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT HERE? SHOULDN’T YOU BE PATROLLING SNOWDIN FOREST LOOKING FOR HUMANS?”

 That loud, unmistakable voice caught Sans by surprise. He yelped, the crystalized soul nearly flying from his hand as he jumped almost a foot off the ground. He fumbled for a moment, locking the precious stone in a death grip before it had a chance to hit the ground. Letting out a sigh of relief at having not destroyed everything with one tiny fumble, he turned to face Papyrus with what he hoped was a nonchalant grin. Before he could think up a suitable excuse for being away from his post, the lanky skeleton arched a brow, leaning over to get a better look at what he was holding.

 “WHAT IS THAT THING YOU HAVE THERE?”

 Sans’s hand reflexively clamped down over the small crystal as though he were trying to keep his brother from taking away a small bug he’d caught. He had no illusions of hiding it, of course. Papyrus may have been naïve, but he wasn’t _entirely_ clueless. He wouldn’t take ‘nothing’ for an answer.

 “it’s, uhhh… it’s a rock i found. i thought i might get my pet rock a pretty girl rock ta hang out with. gotta throw the li’l guy a bone sometime, y’know?”

 There was a long stretch of silence between the two. Beads of sweat began forming on Sans’s forehead as Papyrus narrowed his eyes down at the shorter skeleton. He wasn’t buying it, was he? Then, a triumphant grin spread across his face.

 “I SEE! SO _THAT’S_ WHERE THEY’VE BEEN COMING FROM!”

 Sans couldn’t help but stare up at his younger brother, confusion plain on his face.

 “uhh… where _what’s_ been coming from..?” he asked hesitantly, unsure if he wanted to know the answer. Papyrus stuffed a gloved hand down the front of his shirt a moment before retrieving a small shard of crystal, its faint glow illuminating the side of his face in a cool blue hue. If Sans had eyeballs, they’d probably be bugging out of his head right now in astonishment. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing! It was a piece of Gaster’s soul! The smaller skeleton fought to resist snatching it from the younger of the two the instant he saw it.

 “wh-where did you find that?!” Sans almost shouted, unable to fully contain himself at the moment. Papyrus set his free hand against his hip, looking somewhat annoyed.

 “I’VE BEEN FINDING THEM UNDER MY PILLOW FOR THE PAST WEEK!  HONESTLY, I WAS BEGINNING TO SUSPECT THAT THE TOOTHFAIRY WAS PLAYING SOME SORT OF STRANGE PRANK ON ME, SEEING AS HOW I HAVEN’T LOST A TOOTH IN YEARS, YET NOW I SEE THE TRUTH! YOUR PET ROCK AND THAT SPARKLY LADY FRIEND OF HIS HAVE BEEN HAVING LITTERS OF… OF… OF _ROCK PUPPIES!_ REALLY, SANS! YOU MUST THINK OF THESE THINGS BEFORE YOU TAKE IN NEW PETS! I HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF ONE OF THEM AS IT IS! I DON’T HAVE TIME TO BE CARING FOR A WHOLE _HERD_ OF THEM!”

 And Sans could do nothing but stare up at Papyrus for what felt like ages after his little rant, his eyes wide and his mouth hanging open. He had to scour the entire Underground looking for these tiny little shards, yet Papyrus just finds them hiding under his _goddamned pillow?!_ Just how many did he have?! He quickly decided it didn’t matter. All this did was make his job easier, and he was certainly not one to look a gift horse in the mouth.

 “r-right. sorry, bro. i’ll take care of ‘em from here on out. i’ll, uhh… i’ll find all the ‘rock puppies’ a good home, okay? n-now where are the rest of them?” he asked somewhat hastily, holding out his hand to take the piece Papyrus had. The taller skeleton had no problem turning over the shard, discarding it as simply a nuisance. Sans couldn’t help but notice that the shard’s glow actually _dimmed_ a little the instant it left Papyrus’s grasp. He didn’t have time to dwell on the significance of that, however. Papyrus didn’t seem to notice at all. Or, if he did, he didn’t seem to care.

 “I’VE COLLECTED THEM ALL IN MY DESK DRAWER AT HOME. AS SOON AS I’VE ATTENDED MY PRIVATE LESSON WITH UNDYNE, I’LL—“

 But Papyrus’s words were cut short when he suddenly felt himself being yanked by the arm. Sans had grabbed a hold of him and was now rather forcefully leading him down what seemed to be an arbitrary path to nowhere.

 “no time! need ‘em now! taking a shortcut!”

 

* * *

 

 

 Sure enough, the two were back in Snowdin in easily a quarter of the time it would have normally taken them to walk there. Papyrus still couldn’t see how they’d made it back at all, seeing as how they’d more or less started off in the completely wrong direction, but he supposed it didn’t matter. He was more concerned with the unusual amount of force his elder brother was displaying in dragging him upstairs to his room. He only managed to wrench himself free once they were standing in front of his computer desk.

 “ALRIGHT, _ALRIGHT!_ JEEZ, YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE SO ROUGH ABOUT IT! I ONLY WISH YOU’D TACKLE YOUR _JOB_ WITH THE SAME LEVEL OF ENTHUSIASM!” Papyrus grumbled, giving the front of his shirt a sharp tug to straighten it back to its earlier neat smoothness. Trying to ignore how Sans was bouncing impatiently on the balls of his feet, the taller of the two stepped forward and pulled out the drawer in question. Sans eagerly peeked over his brother’s arm to get a look. There was literally a _fucking pile of them!_ He couldn’t believe how many there were in there! He wouldn’t be surprised if this was the entire two-thirds of the crystal that he was missing!

 In one swift movement, Sans’s hand shot forward and grasped all of the shards Papyrus had collected. Before his younger brother could stop him to give him another convoluted lecture on being a more responsible pet parent, he dashed out of the room. He only glanced back over his shoulder once he was already halfway down the hall.

 “thanks, bro! i owe ya one!” he shouted back at Papyrus before darting into his room and locking the door securely behind him.

 

* * *

 

 

 Sans had spent the rest of the day locked away in his room, pouring over the jigsaw puzzle that was the remains of his father’s soul. Finally, after hours of frustration, he held up the result. It was a solid heart-shaped crystal, a powerful blue glow pulsing evenly from within. There were only two shards missing, two gaps it its pristine surface; a long, thin crevice running across the upper left, and a shorter, slightly wider one to the bottom right. Sans wasn’t worried by these two missing pieces. They were _supposed_ to be there. After all, he and Papyrus had to have come from _somewhere_ , didn’t they?

 Sans gingerly laid the completed soul down on his bed, not trusting himself to hold it for too long. He couldn’t bear to imagine how distraught he’d be if he’d dropped it now, if it just shattered into a million pieces again, or worse, if it disintegrated into dust.

 Now, he had another problem to tackle; he still didn’t know what to _do_ with the soul. What could he possibly _put_ it in? One did not simply snap their fingers and, _voila!_ New monster body! He could always build a robot body like Mettaton had. No… No, that didn’t seem right. Too undignified. Was cloning an option? Samples from both himself and Papyrus would do for that, but he didn’t have nearly the equipment he needed for that, and turning to Dr. Alphys was absolutely out of the question. No one could know what he was really up to, what he could really do, what he really _knew_. He had to keep this under the radar, no matter what. Unfortunately, that meant this burden was his alone to bear.

 “dammit… what the hell am i supposed to do now?” he grumbled helplessly to himself, slipping his hands into his pockets. Suddenly, his brows furrowed, and he pulled one of his hands out. Between his fingers he held an old, faded coupon for Grillby’s. When the hell did he get this? It looked ancient, and was most assuredly expired. Then, he turned a suspicious gaze over to his father’s soul once more. Well, Gaster and Grillby _had_ been very good friends before the ‘incident’, but what did that matter? Even the old fire elemental couldn’t remember that Gaster had ever existed. Eventually, with his mind too exhausted to dwell on it any longer, he let out a sigh of defeat. Maybe he just needed a break? He’d been at this for what felt like forever, after all. Maybe a couple of drinks at Grillby’s would help clear his mind for some fresh ideas.

 

* * *

 

 

 Sans was greeted by the usual chorus of ‘hello’s as he stepped into Grillby’s, to which he replied mostly with wordless sounds of acknowledgement and lazy waves of his hand. He wasn’t in the mood to get into any lengthy conversations with anyone. He was too mentally exhausted for that. Instead, he merely made his way up to his usual seat at the bar. Grillby glanced over, saw the look on the skeleton’s face, and immediately set to preparing a drink for him. Within half a minute, a glass was set in front of Sans containing his preferred drink; a Bloody Mary made with ketchup instead of tomato juice. He arched a suspicious brow up at the fiery bartender.

 “jeez, i must really look like hell if i’m getting automatic service like this.” He commented sardonically. Grillby had already returned to his earlier task of idly wiping down the surface of the bar with a fire-resistant cloth, though he stayed within comfortable speaking distance of his guest.

 “You’ve looked better. Anything you want to talk about?”

 “i dunno… it’s complicated…” Sans replied in little more than a mumble, taking the celery stalk from his drink and chewing lightly at the end of it. It had been sitting in his drink just long enough to soak up the flavor of ketchup and vodka. “just tryin’ ta figure out one hell of a puzzle.”

 “A puzzle? Sounds like you should be going to your brother for help with that one. That’s _his_ shtick, isn’t it?”

 “nah, it ain’t his kinda puzzle.” He mumbled before downing half of the creamy red contents of his glass in one gulp. Well, this wasn’t getting him anywhere so far. How could he ask someone for ideas when he couldn’t describe the problem? Then again… What if he presented it as a joke? Yeah, that just might work.

 “so here’s a question for ya… what do ya do when ya gotta make a new monster body, and pronto?” Sans asked suddenly, flashing Grillby a grin that almost seemed to expect a punchline in return. The elemental abruptly stopped wiping the counter, resting both of his hands against the edge as he gave the skeleton a long, hard stare.

 “I’ve never had to explain ‘the birds and the bees’ to a monster in his thirties before. Why don’t we _keep_ it that way?”

 That one pulled a bout of genuine laughter out of Sans. Oh man, he just loved Grillby’s dry humor sometimes! He’d have to remember that one, even if it didn’t help him with his little problem… Or did it? Slowly, his grin faded, his brows knitting together in thought. Could that really be the answer? He suddenly gulped down the rest of his drink before leaping from the barstool and dashing for the door with renewed vigor.

 “thanks, grillby! you’re a genius!”

 

* * *

 

 

 Sans was back at the house in an instant, popping into his room just long enough to grab his father’s crystalized soul before heading down to his lab in the basement. He couldn’t afford to be interrupted right now, not even by Papyrus. Luckily his younger brother was too creeped out by basements to even attempt to come down and see what he was doing down there.

 Once he was in the solitude of his lab, the weight of what he was about to do suddenly weighed heavily on his shoulders. He stared down at the crystalline heart resting in his hand, its blue magical glow pulsing warmly. He suddenly felt more apprehensive than he ever had before in his life. Okay, just what exactly had Grillby put in his drink to make him think that this was a good idea? Maybe the robot body option wasn’t so bad after all… Sans shook the thought from his mind. No, this was the only way he could give Gaster a real, dignified body. Besides that, it was actually the easiest – and, by extension, the _laziest_ – way to do it. It was just going to seriously suck for him a little later on down the road.

 He then let out a wry chuckle. What would his father say if he knew what he was planning to do? He could almost hear it now; the echo of his father’s strange voice, the sounds that were not language, but somehow imprinted ideas and concepts onto your very mind when he spoke.

//Sans, I want you to promise me something. Promise me you’ll _never_ conduct experiments on your own body.//

 Sans had been going over his father’s notes in the royal lab when the seemingly arbitrary request was made of him. He’d looked up, his eyes meeting the gaze of a tall, slender skeleton in a long black lab coat. The cracks in his skull, the way his right eye drooped into the shape of a crescent moon… Most people found these deformities to be mildly disturbing to look at. To Sans, however, this was the most comforting face in the Underground. He’d given Dr. Gaster a cheeky grin.

 “so this is another lesson from the biggest hypocrite in the world, huh? y’know, dad, if you practiced what you preach, you’d have never had _me_ in the first place.”

 Dr. Gaster had let out what, for him, equated to a light chuckle.

 //This is true, but such experiments don’t often turn out as well as you did. I gambled a lot on you. I could have seriously injured myself doing what I did, or worse, you could have been born sickly or defective. Life for you could have been torturous. I was lucky that everything was a success. I don’t think I’d gamble on an experiment like that again, not with so much at stake.//

 “okay, _now_ you’re just lying to my face. what do ya call _that_ then?”

 Sans had pointed to the far corner of the lab at that point, where a small crib had been set up. Inside, an infant Papyrus was snoozing peacefully away. Dr. Gaster smiled warmly.

 //Simple. A technique that has been perfected is no longer considered an experiment. Which brings me to another lesson I’m sure you’ll learn in time; _always_ exploit loopholes.//

 Sans’s grip on the crystal heart tightened slightly as the memory faded away. In reality, he knew good and well that that last bit of ‘advice’ had been given jokingly, but he decided he was going to ignore that tiny tidbit of conditional information. After all, it was a technique that was perfected, wasn’t it? That meant it wouldn’t _technically_ be experimenting on himself, right? Somehow, that didn’t exactly overwhelm him with confidence.

 Hesitantly, he reached down and lifted up his shirt. He stared for a long moment at the empty void in his abdomen between his pelvis and his ribcage. He then cast an uneasy glance at the crystal soul on his hand. Okay, he could do this. It was perfectly straightforward. All he had to do was stick it in, put up a barrier around his abdomen, and his body’s magic would take care of the rest. Easy, right? He could probably even keep it hidden through the entire term thanks to how ‘big boned’ he was. He let out a small whine of dread.

 “o-oh, man… this has gotta be the single weirdest situation I’ve ever gotten myself into…” he stammered out to himself, hesitating one long moment more, mildly hoping an alternative solution would suddenly strike him at the last moment. No such thing happened. He took a deep breath, snapping his eyes shut as though not watching would make the reality of this supremely dumb idea disappear.

 “w-well, here goes nothin’…”


	3. A Thief in the Night

 Sans writhed against the cold tile floor of his lab, bony fingers clawing at the glowing blue barrier encasing his abdomen, tortured screams ripping from his throat. He’d never been in so much pain in his life. It felt like something was trying to split his ribcage open from the inside, the magic coursing through his bones burning like acid. He tried to hang on, tried to keep the barrier in place, tried to keep his body from violently rejecting the crystalized soul he’d forced it to carry, but he wasn’t sure how much more of this he could take. Tears streamed down his cheeks as he gritted his teeth so hard he was surprised none of them cracked. He couldn’t fail at this! He had to make this work somehow, even if it tore him apart! This was the only way he could bring Gaster back!

 Finally, he couldn’t take it anymore. Just as his vision began to fade on him, he released the barrier around his abdomen and wrenched out the crystal heart within. He collapsed in a heap against the floor, panting as the waves of pain slowly began to die down. He opened his bleary eyes to stare at the crystalized soul lying next to him on the ground. It didn’t seem to have taken any damage from the whole ordeal – unlike himself – but it retained a flaming blue aura. Magic, likely what it had pilfered from Sans’s own body during his short-lived attempt at carrying it. Beyond that, he’d made no progress whatsoever.

 He slammed a fist against the ground in frustration. Why couldn’t he do it? What was he doing wrong? The idea was theoretically sound, so why didn’t it work? Was there something wrong with _him?_ Or did his father simply not want to be brought back?

 After a good long moment of self-loathing, Sans managed to lift himself up to his hands and knees, though they felt as though they were ready to give out underneath him at any moment. He reached a trembling hand out to gently scoop up his father’s soul, rising unsteadily up to his feet. He had to brace himself against the wall with his free hand as he moved, taking a few stumbling steps forward towards one of his work tables. He dragged a cylindrical glass canister over to himself, gingerly placing the crystal heart within. The crystal floated in the center of the canister, still surrounded by a wispy cloud of the magical energy it had tried to absorb. Sans barely had enough energy in him to seal the container before collapsing once more. Before he could hit the floor, he was suddenly in his bedroom, slumping down against the side of his bare mattress. Consciousness left him barely a second later.

 

* * *

 

 

 Sans couldn’t tell how long he was unconscious for – it could have been days, for all he knew – but he felt like death when he finally awoke. He waited for a long time before even attempted to sit up, hoping his body would stop screaming ‘the fuck did you do?!’ at him. That didn’t quite happen, but it did at least die down to a dull roar. He sat up slowly, his body feeling as though it suddenly weighed a thousand pounds, and he felt a light blanket slip down off of him. A small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. So, Papyrus had been in there to check on him. He should have expected as much.

 After finally managing to get up to his feet, he slowly made his way downstairs. He was still far too exhausted to use his ‘shortcuts.’ Luckily for him, his destination was just around the back of the house. As he made his way towards the door, he couldn’t help but notice a distinct lack of Papyruses around. It didn’t concern him too much. It was probably late in the day, and that meant that his brother would be off either patrolling for humans or getting his daily ‘private training’ with Undyne. What he was truly surprised about was the lack of a sticky note anywhere telling him that he was a lazybones and that he shouldn’t sleep so much.

 He was already starting to feel a bit better once he stepped outside into the snow. The cold air helped to deaden the lingering ache in his bones. Of course, that wouldn’t last for long. He had to try again. He was dreading it more than he had the first time, but he knew he had to give it another shot. This was one time he couldn’t afford to be lazy. After all, there was no one else he could pass this responsibility off to. He was the only one that could do it.

 He slowly made his way around the back of the house, making sure no one was paying attention to him. Fortunately, no one tended to look back there. The entrance to the basement was pretty well ignored, hidden from the rest of the village by a row of overgrown bushes. Sure, one of Alphys’s security cameras could technically see the door, but he’d arranged that on purpose. The camera was pointed at the back of the tool shed, and it only ‘incidentally’ had the basement door in view in the background. Alphys had no reason to watch that camera, anyway. Nothing interesting ever happened back there.

 Sans casually made his way back there, taking his hand out of his pocket to grasp at the doorknob… only to grasp thin air. His eyes widened, his gaze finally focusing on what was in front of him. He was in the right place, but the doorknob wasn’t. The door to the basement was wide open, a thin powdering of snow dusting the floor tiles just inside the threshold. A wave of icy panic washed over him. That was impossible! It had been ages since he’d even _used_ the door to get inside his lab! It should have been locked, and most assuredly not left wide open like this!

 His panic seemed to have returned some of his lost vigor, and he dashed into the lab. At first glance, everything seemed to be in order. His father’s old blueprints were untouched, the machine in the back of the room still covered with that old sheet, a thick layer of dust laying undisturbed over the surface. Then he finally spotted it. It was the glass canister he’d placed Gaster’s soul into. The crystalline heart was nowhere to be found, the canister lying in broken shards across his worktable.

 Sans could do nothing for the longest time but stare in complete horror, his hands shaking at his sides. Of all the things that could have been broken, of all the things that could have been taken, why did they have to take _that?!_

 

* * *

 

 

 After a good long freak out session, Sans eventually managed to get a hold of himself and allow a rational thought flow into his mind; he had to find Gaster’s soul. Unfortunately, whoever his mystery thief was hadn’t left any clues as to their identity at the scene of the crime. Fortunately, there was somewhere he could go to gleam a little bit more information on the case. He was suddenly very grateful for having arranged that security camera the way he did.

 Sans was already halfway to the royal lab when he heard a stream of muffled music emanating from the pocket of his shorts. He recognized it immediately as Papyrus’s ringtone. He pulled his phone from his pocket and answered the call, never once stopping as he walked along the path leading towards Hotland.

 “SANS, ARE YOU UP YET?” came the somewhat impatient voice through the phone’s speaker before the skeleton had even had a chance to say ‘hello.’

 “yeah, but i’m kinda busy right now. what’s up?”

 “WHEN ARE YOU PLANNING TO BE HOME TONIGHT?”

 “i dunno. in a couple of hours, maybe.” Sans replied, his brows furrowing. Something didn’t seem right… “hey, is everything okay?”

 There was an uncharacteristic silence on the other end of the line. Finally, after what felt like ages, Papyrus replied.

 “J-JUST GET HOME AS SOON AS YOU ARE ABLE.”

 Sans opened his mouth to ask what was wrong for the second time, but his brother had hung up before he could get the words out. He stared at the phone for a long time after that. Papyrus was acting strangely. He didn’t like that. He replaced his phone in his pocket and continued along the path at a jog. He had to make this quick so he could get home and see what the hell was bugging his brother. Man, why did everything have to happen all at once around here?

 

* * *

 

 

 Sans was a little out of breath when he finally got to the royal lab. Getting around the Underground sure was a drag when you couldn’t use shortcuts. Oh well. He’d be able to use them again after he got something to eat and recovered a bit of his magic, but that could wait for later. He had bigger things to worry about right now. He gave the door a good hard knock. There was the distant sound of shuffling and of things being knocked over before the door opened up a crack, Alphys’s bespectacled face peeking out nervously.

 “O-oh, hi Sans. What brings you out here?”

 “hey, sorry if i’m interrupting anything. i think someone’s been tryin’ ta break into my garage. can i take a peek at your security camera footage?” he asked, slipping quite easily into his cover story for being here.

 “Oh, s-sure thing!” she replied, sliding the door open for him to enter. As he did so, he couldn’t help but notice Alphys’s disheveled appearance; she was still in her pajamas, her lab coat thrown hastily overtop. Sans didn’t really mind. He’d seen her like that plenty of times before, which was probably the only reason she’d let him in without hesitation. She led him over to the large monitor that displayed live footage from several of the cameras scattered throughout the Underground.

 “W-well, here ya go! Y-you know how to use it, s-so I’ll just leave you to it!” Alphys stammered out before dashing away to her computer nearby. As soon as she sat down, Sans could hear very distinct Japanese dialogue coming from that direction. Good. She would be too distracted by her anime to pay attention to what he was doing.

 The skeleton didn’t waste any time in queuing up the appropriate footage. An image of the back of Papyrus’s tool shed filled the screen, though the door to his basement was clearly visible in the background. He fast-forwarded through the last several days of recordings, watching for the moment the door opened. It happened in a flash, but he couldn’t see the exact moment it had been opened. He went back, played back the moment at normal speed. Even then, it happened in a flash. One moment the door was closed, the next moment it was wide open. Sans grumbled to himself. Okay, so this thief wanted to be a wise guy, eh? Trying to go faster than he could see, eh? Fine. He’d just pause the tape at the exact moment the door opened and—

 “ _gaahh!_ ” Sans exclaimed, stumbling back a few steps before landing right on his ass. He cast a quick glance over towards Alphys to make sure he hadn’t caught her attention with his little outburst. Luckily, she was still too engrossed in her cartoons to take notice. Still, a blue flush of embarrassment spread itself across his cheeks. For a guy his age to get spooked by such a stupid…

 He got up, dusted himself off, and looked up at the screen once more. The face that had suddenly filled the screen was that of a young monster child, its skin a sickly gray, its eyes an empty, solid white. Sans would have thought it was one of those prank videos if he hadn’t recognized the face. He’d seen this kid before. He was one of those strange gray monsters that had appeared to him in his search for his father’s soul, the ones who somehow knew about W.D. Gaster when no one else could remember him. But what the hell did this mean? Were the ‘Gaster Followers’ responsible for stealing back his father’s soul? Had they just been leading him to the pieces so he’d put it back together for them? His hands clenched into fists at his sides. Oh, if he’d just been used this entire time, he was gonna—

 “Hey! What’re _you_ doing here?!”

 Sans let out another yelp as the sudden shout rang in his ears. He hastily cleared the image on the screen before turning to face the person who’d so fiercely addressed him.

 “u-undyne! what, uhh… what do you mean? am i not _supposed_ to be here or somethin’?”

 Undyne set her hands against her hips, glaring down at the diminutive skeleton as though he should know the answer to that question. After a moment, she let out a sigh and looked away.

 “Nah… I guess I just figured you’d be with Papyrus, is all.”

 “what..?” Sans asked, his brows furrowing. “isn’t he supposed to be with you right now? he usually has his cooking lessons around this time of day, doesn’t he?”

 “Exactly!” Undyne replied, a bit of her usual ferocity returning to her demeanor. “I haven’t seen that dweeb all day! He hasn’t even come to give me his daily report! Papyrus is _never_ late with his reports!”

 Okay, now _that_ was worrying. Acting a little strange was one thing, but skipping out on Undyne? That was truly unheard of. He cast a brief glance back at the monitor he’d been using a moment ago. He supposed his father’s soul could wait a short while longer. He had to get this little distraction out of the way before he could fully concentrate on the more important task at hand.

 

* * *

 

 

 The two of them immediately set off from Alphys’s lab after that. Sans couldn’t figure out a good way to ditch Undyne and head back home by himself, so he just let her follow as she wished. He didn’t really care at this point. It was Papyrus they were going to check on, after all. He highly doubted that whatever was wrong with him was something he’d have particular interest in hiding from his brother’s ‘boss.’

 They were in Snowdin soon enough, even though Sans still didn’t have the energy for shortcuts. The skeleton led the way into the house, but it seemed untouched from when he’d left just an hour or so ago. That was odd… Papyrus had asked him to come _home_ when he could, hadn’t he? Unless…

 Sans made his way upstairs, stopping in front of the door that was haphazardly decorated with police tape and warning signs. He gave the door a good solid knock.

 “hey, papyrus? you in there, bro?”

 There was a long moment in which nothing happened. So long, in fact, that Sans and Undyne were beginning to suspect that Papyrus wasn’t in there after all. Finally, the door opened a tiny crack, a single dark eye socket peeking out at them. It glanced between the two of them for a moment, the sound of nervous fidgeting heard plainly from within. Suddenly, a long bony arm reached out and grabbed hold of Sans’s hoody, pulling him inside before he really got a chance to react.

 “S-SORRY, UNDYNE! SKELETON STUFF! NO FLESHIES ALLOWED!!”

 And the door was slammed shut in her face before any argument could be given.

 

* * *

 

 

 Sans couldn’t help but stare up at his younger brother as the taller skeleton braced his back against the door, as though his flimsy weight would be enough to keep the head of the Royal Guard from busting down the door if she really wanted to. If he didn’t know better, he’d almost have to question if this was Papyrus at all. He wasn’t wearing his ‘battle body’ for one, something that had practically become a living part of him ever since that costume party they’d attended. Furthermore, what he _was_ wearing didn’t exactly fit into the lanky skeleton’s usual flamboyant style. He wore a plain orange turtle-neck sweater and a pair of long running shorts not unlike the ones Sans himself wore; black with a white stripe down the side. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen his brother wearing something so subdued.

 “uhh… nice digs, bro. you tryin’ ta put together a new costume or somethin’? if so, I gotta say; velma wears a skirt, not shorts.” he commented with a weak smirk, trying as usual to joke his way out of an uncomfortable situation.

 “SANS, THIS ISN’T A TIME FOR JOKES!” Papyrus grumbled in reply. He then stepped away from the door to start pacing across the room a bit, his hands tugging nervously at the bottom of his sweater as though he were afraid it would ride up on him. “I… I THINK I MAY BE SICK OR SOMETHING…”

“sick..?” Sans repeated, his earlier concern returning to him. So much for joking it off. “what makes you say that?”

 Papyrus fidgeted a bit more, hands wringing at the bottom of his sweater as he avoided making eye-contact with his elder brother. Finally, he drew in a deep breath, lifting his sweater up to expose his midriff.

 Sans’s jaw hung open in utter disbelief as he stared at his brother’s abdomen. A glowing blue barrier stretched from the bottom of his ribcage to the top of his pelvis, sealing the area off from the outside world. Inside, right in the middle, floated a heart-shaped soul surrounded by a thick miasma of blue magic. He could barely make out the two distinct cracks in the surface of the pulsing cerulean heart; one long one towards the top, and a shorter one towards the bottom. Well, at least he’d solved the mystery of where Gaster’s soul had gone to, though he now had to make one small addendum to an earlier statement of his; _this_ was officially the weirdest situation he’d ever gotten himself into.

 “you gotta be fuckin’ kiddin’ me…”


	4. Misunderstandings

 “S-SANS, WHAT _IS_ IT?!” Papyrus asked, starting to get rather freaked out at the way his brother was staring at him. Sans couldn’t tear his eyes away from the lanky skeleton’s abdomen, where that glowing blue heart-shaped soul now rested. Oh, he knew exactly what it was, but what could he possibly tell Papyrus? ‘Congratulations, bro! You’re gonna have a baby! Oh, by the way, it’s our _dad!_ ’ On top of the indescribable level of awkwardness that would produce, there was still the fact that he’d never quite gotten around to giving Papyrus an honest, adult answer to the ever-dreaded question ‘where do baby monsters come from?’ Hell, he was probably still under the impression that Santa dropped them off to their parents on Christmas. He had a feeling he was seriously going to regret that little bit of laziness.

 “u-uhhh… i-it doesn’t hurt, does it?” he asked, remembering the gargantuan amount of pain he’d been in when he tried to impregnate himself with Gaster’s soul. Papyrus merely shook his head.

 “N-NO. BUT… I DO FEEL A LITTLE NAUSEOUS…” he replied, his brothers questioning clearly making him a little more nervous about the whole situation. Sans very gently poked at the surface of the barrier, causing Papyrus to squirm a little. The barrier seemed stable, at least. But how the hell did the soul end up inside _Papyrus_ of all places? It had to have been placed there deliberately. Souls didn’t just sprout legs and waltz right into someone’s abdomen, and he couldn’t imagine his brother doing this to himself. It was odd, though… This barrier definitely was the work of the lanky skeleton. He could tell that much from just feeling the magic in it. Had he erected it instinctively somehow? Was that why all of this happened, why his body had rejected the soul last night? Was Papyrus’s body simply naturally suited to this sort of thing, where his was not?

 Suddenly, before any further questioning could take place, the bedroom door flew violently off the hinges. Undyne stood there, leg still raised in kicking position, glaring at the two skeletons within.

 “Hey, what’s the big deal ditchin’ me?! You think I’m gonna take that shit from a pair of twerps like—“

 Undyne froze mid-insult, her eye locking onto the glowing contents of Papyrus’s midsection. The aforementioned skeleton was a bit too slow in recovering from the shock of the intrusion, hastily pulling his sweater down after it was far too late. The Royal Guard rushed forward, yanking the front of Papyrus’s sweater up and pulling a startled yelp out of him in the process. She stared at it for a long moment. Then, she slowly turned that stare over to Sans, her eye twitching lightly.

 “ _The fuck is this?!!_ ” she demanded, though something told Sans that she wasn’t nearly as clueless as to what it was as Papyrus had clearly been. Sans could only reply with a nervous grin and a shrug of his shoulders. Undyne narrowed her eye at him almost accusatorily. When she got no answer to satisfy her, she hooked an arm around Papyrus’s waist and hoisted him up under her arm as though he were a sack of flour. The smaller of the two skeletons cringed at how seemingly rough she was being with his brother.

 “h-hey, what d’you think you’re doing?!” he called out as the Royal Guard darted out of the room with Papyrus in hand.

 “I’m takin’ him ta Alphys!” Undyne called back, never slowing her pace to allow the other to catch up with her. Sans cursed under his breath at that, running after the two as fast as his short legs would carry him. This crap was already weird enough as it was, he didn’t need _more_ people getting involved in this!

 

* * *

 

 

 Dr. Alphys hadn’t moved from where the two other monsters had left her earlier. She was still sitting in front of her computer in her pajamas, watching anime and munching on potato chips. All in all, she was having a lovely evening. Well, until the distinct sound of a door being kicked in echoed throughout the lab. She let out a sigh, setting aside her chips and pausing her video.

 “S-seriously, Undyne, can’t you open the door like a n-normal person for once? I-I’m getting tired of fixing that…” she commented with her usual nervous grin, honestly hoping the sea sprite would take it as a joke. Judging from how much of a hurry she was in, however, she may not have heard at all. Undyne merely plunked a rather dizzy-looking Papyrus in front of her, lifting his sweater and pointing a shaking finger at his glowing abdomen.

 “Fix it!!” she shouted harshly with no further explanation. Alphys’s eyes widened, her glasses sliding down her nose a bit. She’d been asked to fix a lot of things in her life, but _this_ was certainly a new one. Then, she started fiddling with her fingers, abruptly letting out a nervous laugh.

 “I-I guess I’ll go, umm… I-I’ll go get m-my equipment…” she replied meekly before hastily trotting off. It wasn’t until after Alphys disappeared into another part of the lab that Sans finally ran in, out of breath and panting from his mad chase after that dastardly kidnapper. He made his way breathlessly over to where the two stood, wanting to make sure the crazy fish lady hadn’t inadvertently hurt his brother or his… err... ‘ _baby_ ’… Okay, yeah, _that_ was a thought that was going to take some serious getting used to.

 Papyrus didn’t seem to be in the mood to greet his brother upon his arrival. He was currently propping himself up against Undyne’s shoulder, his free hand clamped tightly over his mouth as though he were ready to puke any second. A mischievous grin spread itself across Sans’s face. Well now, here was a chance to get a bit of quick revenge in on Undyne for stealing his brother away like this. It might come at the cost of said brother’s comfort at the moment, but that was hanging by a thread anyway, by the looks of him. He gave Papyrus a gentle tap against the side, which was enough to pull a muffled whine of protest out of him.

 “hey, bro, what does a drunk dog say?”

 “OH MY GOD, SANS, DON’T YOU DARE—“

 “barf barf barf!”

 It was about at that moment when Alphys re-entered the room, cringing as the sound of retching greeted her.

 “ _Ngyaaah!_ Gross! All over my boots?! Really?!”

 “S-SORRY…”

 Alphys let out a sigh. Well, there was another mess she had to clean up…

 “L-look, why don’t you just sit him down in the desk chair there… A-and make sure to keep the w-waste bin nearby.”

 Undyne, still grumbling about the mess on her shoes, led Papyrus over to the chair and plopped him down in it. She backed up a bit, letting Alphys kneel next to the still rather nauseous-looking skeleton.

 “So, can ya fix him?” the sea sprite asked as she watched the Royal Scientist scan Papyrus’s abdomen with some unidentifiable device.

 “I-I’m not exactly sure how you expect me to ‘fix’ a pregnancy. I-it’s kind of a little late for that.”

 “WAIT…” Papyrus interrupted, sitting bolt upright and furrowing his brows. “WHAT’S ‘PREGNANCY?’ IS THAT BAD? IS IT CONTAGIOUS?!”

 Both women could do nothing but stare at the lanky skeleton. Was he serious? Did he really not know, or was this just a really bad attempt at a joke? The genuinely confused look on his face more or less eliminated the latter option. Sans stepped forward at this point, resting a hand on his brother’s shoulders to halt any further naïve questions.

 “it’s okay, papy. i’ll, uhh… I’ll just give ya the short version fer now.” he said before leaning over to whisper in the other’s ear, too embarrassed to explain it aloud with an audience present. Papyrus listened in silence as it was hastily explained to him. Suddenly, his eyes went wide, his mouth hanging open in shock.

 “W-WAIT! _THAT’S_ WHERE BABIES COME FROM?!” he exclaimed, staring down at himself with renewed horror. “B-BUT…! Y-YOU SAID SANTA—“

 “yeah, about that… the whole ‘santa bringin’ people babies’ thing is kinda bullshit… sorry, bro.” Sans replied, giving him an apologetic smile. Papyrus could only stare in utter shock, as though his entire world had been turned upside-down.

 “TH-THEN… THEN HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?!”

 “I-I don’t think I’ve ever hear a more appropriate question posed in my life.” Alphys added softly.

 “Yeah, how ‘bout you explain _that_ one to us, smart guy?” Undyne more demanded than requested, folding her arms across her chest and glaring at the shorter of the two skeletons. Sans suddenly felt all eyes on him as everyone in the room waited for an answer, including Papyrus. He let out a nervous chuckle, shrugging his shoulders slightly.

 “w-well, y’know… us skeletons don’t really follow the normal rules of biology and everything, so… w-we rely more on our magic for this kind of stuff! yeah! s-so, if we don’t keep a good hold of our magic, li’l ‘accidents’ like this can happen. heh… i-i mean, for all _i_ know, this coulda happened because of a, uhhh… a naughty dream he had or something.”

 There was a long silence that seemed to stretch on into eternity. Both Alphys and Undyne were staring hard at him, as though he must be absolutely crazy if he expected them to believe something like that. Not the explanation itself, mind you. Crazier things than that had happened, after all. It was the part about Papyrus being capable of having an _erotic dream_ that they couldn’t fathom. Undyne opened her mouth to mention as much, but someone beat her to it.

 “S-SO… SO IT MUST HAVE HAPPENED THE NIGHT BEFORE LAST!!” Papyrus exclaimed in sudden realization. The disbelieving stares all shifted towards the lanky skeleton, Sans included.

 “i’m sorry… _what?_ ” the shorter skeleton asked. Had he heard that right? That story about wet dreams possibly causing surprise babies was some of the most random bullshit he’d ever pulled out of his ass. He honestly hadn’t expected Papyrus to have _actually_ …

 “Hold on a second!” Undyne interjected. “Are you serious right now, or is this some kind of joke?! Did you _really_ have a dirty dream?!”

 “ _’DIRTY?!_ ’” Papyrus repeated in a tone that suggested such a comment was the understatement of the century. “IT WAS POSITIVELY _FILTHY!!_ THE _NAUGHTIEST_ DREAM YOU CAN IMAGINE!! ABSOLUTELY _SCANDELOUS!!_ THOUGH, I’LL ADMIT, IT GOT PRETTY _HOT AND STEAMY_ THERE FOR A WHILE…”

 And that’s about where Sans felt he wanted to get off this bullet train to Weirdsville.

 “o-okay, thanks a million for the confirmation, bro! i-i think we’ve all heard enough!”

 “ _N-no!!_ ”

 The chorus of dissent from the other two was enough to throw Sans completely off his game. He could do nothing but stare as the two women crowded around his brother, more or less shoving him to the side.

 “Keep talkin’, Papyrus! I wanna know what kinda ‘dirty dream’ that cinnamon roll brain of yours could _possibly_ come up with!” Undyne ordered as sternly as ever, though there was a distinct darkening to the color of her cheeks.

 “Y-yes, a-and please go into as much d-detail as possible! I-it could be important! F-for _science!_ ” Alphys chimed in, pulling out a small notepad from inside her lab coat that was clearly marked ‘fanfiction ideas’ in glittery pink gel pen. Papyrus looked between the two for a moment, a light blush of embarrassment coloring his cheeks.

 “W-WELL, IF YOU INSIST… I DREAMT THAT I WAS FINALLY INVITED TO BE ON METTATON’S COOKING SHOW. OH, I WAS SO EXCITED! NOT _ONLY_ WAS I FINALLY RECOGNIZED FOR MY CULINARY GENIUS, BUT I ALSO GOT TO BE ON TV WITH MY IDOL! WE WERE MAKING MY WORLD-FAMOUS SPAGHETTI, OF COURSE! THEN… THEN IT _HAPPENED!_ I-I WAS MIXING THE MARINARA SAUCE WHEN..! WH-WHEN..!!”

 The two women seemed to lean in even further at this dramatic pause, practically drooling at the tension. Sans, however, was busy plugging his ears with his fingers and trying his hardest _not_ to hear. Finally, Papyrus threw his head back, resting the back of his hand dramatically against his forehead.

 “I SPILLED THE POT OF SAUCE ALL OVER THE TWO OF US!! OH, IT WAS SUCH A MESS THE LIKES OF WHICH YOU COULDN’T IMAGINE!! HOT TOMATO SAUCE _EVERYWHERE_ , AND ALL ON LIVE TELEVISION!! I’D NEVER BEEN SO EMBARRASED IN MY LIFE!! TH-THEN, METTATON, COVERED HEAD TO TOE IN THE STEAMING SAUCE, TURNED TO ME AND SAID ‘IT’S QUITE ALRIGHT, DARLING! I HAVE THE PERFECT THING FOR CLEANING UP A MESS LIKE THIS!’ SO HE GOT OUT A COUPLE OF MOPS AND WE CLEANED IT UP.”

 There was a long moment of silence after the conclusion of the story, as though no one believed that could really be the end. Sans couldn’t help but let out a sigh of relief. He should have known better than to think his little brother even _knew_ what a wet dream was… He supposed he was just getting paranoid lately. The other two, alternatively, looked rather disappointed.

 “W-wait… Th-that’s it..?” Alphys groaned out in disappointment. She then let out a sigh, scratching out what she had written in her notebook and replacing it into its pocket inside her lab coat. Undyne, however, suddenly let out a roar of laughter, hooking an arm around Papyrus’s neck and locking his head under her arm.

 “Hah hah hah! You _dumbass!_ I knew it!” she chuckled out, giving the top of his skull a good noogie. Sans was quite content to chuckle along even as his brother protested the sea sprite’s odd method of showing affection, but he was pulled out of the moment when he felt a tap on his shoulder. He looked up to see Alphys standing next to him.

 “H-hey, can I talk with you? Y-y’know… in private?”

 Sans furrowed his brows, his smile flicking away from his face. He wasn’t sure he liked the sudden serious tone the Royal Scientist had taken. He followed Alphys into the next room, leaving the other two to occupy themselves with whatever ridiculousness they wished. The scientist turned to him the moment the door was closed behind them.

 “O-okay, are you gonna come clean, o-or am I gonna have to do it for you?” she asked in that same serious tone as before. Sans merely arched a brow, never dropping his poker face.

 “i’d hafta know what i’m coming clean about first, now don’t i?”

 “D-don’t play dumb! I-I already know what you’ve been up to, s-so hiding it is useless!”

 Sans froze at that, his hands clenching where they rested inside his hoodie pockets. So she knew, did she? Perhaps trusting her with that security camera was a bad idea after all. It seemed his initial impression of Dr. Alphys had been a bit of an underestimation. She wasn’t nearly as good as his father, but she was more perceptive than he’d given her credit for. So, what was all this, then? Blackmail? ‘Do what I want or I tell the entire Underground about what you really are and what you really do?’

 “that’s a pretty bold claim. you got any evidence to back you up, or are ya just going by gut instinct?” he replied, a slight grin returning to his face. It wasn’t his normal grin. There was something a little more _threatening_ about it. Alphys seemed unperturbed.

 “I-I scanned Papyrus. O-or did you f-forget about that? I-it’s pretty obvious how that happened, e-even if you won’t tell _him_.”

 Sans’ eyes widened at that. So she even knew about Gaster’s soul?! But how was that possible? Did this sneaky little dinosaur have cameras in his lab as well? How much of his sensitive information had leaked out this way, and all under his nose? The information in his lab… It could be very dangerous in the wrong hands. He highly doubted that Alphys’s were the _right_ hands, considering what she kept hidden away in her own basement. Sans’s expression darkened, his left eye glowing a dangerously bright cyan. He really hated to do this to someone he considered a friend, but he just couldn’t let his secret get out…

 “L-look, I’d just like to know how long you two have been doing this stuff together.”

 Sans froze just before he managed to pull his hand from his pocket, his eyes widening and the blue glow in them disappearing in an instant.

 “umm… _what_..?”

 “O-oh, c’mon, Sans! I-I already told you I knew! I-I mean, more than half of that magic behind his barrier is yours! What else could it be?!”

 At that point Sans could do little more than stare back at Alphys with a look of complete aghast horror. Did she… Did she seriously think he’d knocked up his own brother?!! He had to resist the urge to puke at the very thought!

 Unfortunately, he suddenly found himself in one of the most awkward conundrums he could ever imagine. He could fess up and tell her the truth, tell her that it was all a misunderstanding, that the only reason that soul had _his_ magic around it was because of his own failed attempt at carrying it before it somehow wound up inside Papyrus. There was no way he could do that, though. It would expose him, expose everything he’d spent the last twenty years trying to hide. Then again, what was the alternative? Could he really bear to let her think that he was some incestuous pervert who took advantage of his naïve little brother to get his rocks off? He lost hard in either case. He took a deep breath. He supposed all he could do at this point was pick the slightly lesser of two evils and play damage control from there.

 “o-okay, ya caught me… s’just like ya said… i-i didn’t tell ‘im what we were really doin’, a-and…” he had to pause for a moment to choke back the bile that was rising in the back of his throat at such a disgusting lie. “i-it just kinda… y-y’know… happened… s-so, uhhh… how about we just keep this between you and me?”

 Alphys folded her arms across her chest, arching a brow at him.

 “N-now why would I do that? Just to let some pervert save face? Y-you’re gonna have to try harder than that!”

 “look, i’m not askin’ for myself, i’m askin’ for papy! you know how he is! all he ever wanted was to be popular, and if something like this gets out, it’ll just destroy him! c’mon, he doesn’t need this shit right now, he’s gonna have it hard enough as it is! s-so you can’t tell anyone, not even him!”

 Alphys seemed to consider him silently as he made his desperate plea, her fingers drumming lightly against her arm in thought. Finally, she let out a sigh of defeat.

 “O-oh, alright… B-but only because Papyrus doesn’t need the extra stress right now! A-after that kid’s born, you gotta come clean to him, though! He deserves to know eventually!”

 “r-right, gotcha! _totally_ gonna do that!” Sans replied, already halfway out the door. He was quite eager to leave at the first opportunity he saw. The sooner he didn’t have to talk about this subject anymore, the better. He didn’t know how much longer he could contain the intense nausea it gave him.

 

* * *

 

 

 Sans had quickly gathered Papyrus and headed back home after that, his face still flushed blue in utter embarrassment. He knew Undyne’s little stunt would make matters worse for him, but who knew just how much worse it could have possibly gotten? He knew he was going to be dreading running into Alphys for the rest of his life, knowing she was going to give him ‘that look’ and remind him of this whole ordeal all over again.

 The two skeletons had hardly left Hotland when Sans felt his phone vibrating in his pocket. He pulled it out, discovering that he’d just received a text message from Alphys. He barely got through half of it before he had to cringe internally.

 ‘Oh, I almost forgot! No sex until after he’s had the baby! ;-)’

 Sans couldn’t stop a shudder of revolt from rattling down his bones at that.

 “uggh… i think i’m gonna hurl…”

 “D-DON’T YOU START THAT AGAIN!”


	5. How Not to Keep a Secret

 After what was arguably the single most chaotic day of his life, Sans was certainly glad to be home. He flopped face-first onto the couch, letting his slippers fall haphazardly to the floor. He would have been perfectly content to just lay there for the rest of eternity. He was exhausted, he was starving, and most of all, he just wanted to curl up into a little ball and die of embarrassment. Damn that Alphys… Of all the conclusions she could have jumped to, why did it have to be _that_ one?! The only saving grace here was that he’d managed to convince her to keep her big yap shut about the whole thing. The absolute last thing he needed were rumors like that going around about the two of them. He was in pretty much everyone’s good graces around here. He didn’t want to jeopardize that by having them suspect he might be a weird pervert.

 Sans soon felt the couch cushions dip slightly to one side as a weight settled itself in the spot next to him. He glanced up to see Papyrus sitting there in his usual spot, though he slumped back far more than he normally would have, his arms draped loosely across his midsection. The smaller skeleton let out a sigh. Here he was lamenting the fate of his reputation when his little brother had something far more tangible to worry about.

 And… Well, technically it _was_ his fault, though not even _close_ to the way Alphys had assumed. If his damned body would have just cooperated with him, if it would have just accepted Gaster’s soul, everything would have been fine. Papyrus wouldn’t have to go through all this crap, and he could have probably kept it on the down-low the entire way through. And, even if he couldn’t, he was not so prideful that he couldn’t have invented a story of a drunken one night stand to explain it away. This scenario would be far harder to explain, especially when Papyrus started showing. Seeing as how he was quite the slender guy, that wouldn’t take too long. He’d have to come up with something before then.

 “hey, how ya feelin’?” Sans asked, finally sitting up proper on his side of the couch.

 “BETTER…” Papyrus replied, though he seemed quite a bit less vigorous than he normally was. Sans would have almost said he looked _tired_ if such a thing wasn’t completely unheard of for the normally energetic skeleton. He would have understood, of course. This had been quite the trying day for the poor guy.

 “MY NAUSEA HAS FINALLY SUBSIDED, THANK GOD… THOUGH NOW I’M ABSOLUTELY _STARVING!_ ”

 “amen to that, bro.” Sans replied with a small chuckle. He hadn’t eaten anything since he’d woken up, and he’d already been seriously drained on magic at that point. He would have killed for a bite to eat right then.

 “SANS, I… I HAVE A CONFESSION TO MAKE…”

 Sans froze when he heard that. Oh dear… That couldn’t mean anything good, not considering all of the other crap that had happened that day. He glanced over at Papyrus, who was fidgeting uneasily in his seat.

 “I… I-I WAS SO PREOCCUPIED WITH ALL THAT WAS GOING ON TODAY THAT I… I NEGLECTED TO PREPARE TONIGHT’S DINNER… I’M SORRY, BROTHER, BUT YOU’LL HAVE TO GO WITHOUT MY MASTERFULLY-CRAFTED PASTA FOR TONIGHT AND SETTLE FOR GRILLBY’S INSTEAD.”

 Here was another situation Sans never imagined he’d get into. Normally, a statement like that would have him dropping to his knees and thanking the Gods above that he didn’t have to subject his taste buds to the gastronomical catastrophe that was his younger brother’s cooking. However, the alternative suggestion, as much as he far preferred it as a food option, did raise some issues. For them to have Grillby’s tonight, they’d have to _go to Grillby’s_. Call him paranoid, but he got the distinct feeling that was a bad idea. He knew it was a ridiculous feeling. After all, Papyrus had only been pregnant for about a day or so. He might have been skinny, but he wouldn’t show _that_ damn early. The problem was his _clothes_. Even before the costume party that gave rise to his infamous ‘battle body,’ Papyrus had always had the habit of wearing shirts that exposed his midriff. For him to show up in public wearing something so uncharacteristically socially-acceptable was sure to raise a few eyebrows.

 Sans shook the fear from his head. Okay, now he really was being paranoid for no reason. After all, who the hell would jump to the conclusion that he was hiding an unborn infant under that sweater? There might be some questions, sure, but he could intercept them if he kept on his toes. He just had to hope Papyrus would be too embarrassed himself to open his big mouth about it. Finally making up his mind about it, Sans hopped off the couch and slipped his feet back into his slippers.

 “oh well. sounds okay to me. let’s get going before it gets too crowded in there. i, uhhh… i don’t want anyone takin’ my favorite seat.”

 

* * *

 

 

 The mood at Grillby’s was as friendly as ever when the two skeletons made their way in. Several people greeted Sans in the usual manner, though he couldn’t help but notice that a few of the regulars were decisively silent when they passed by. Sans tried his best to put it out of his mind. They probably just didn’t notice him. Yeah, that was it. After all, there was no possible way anyone in Snowdin could have found out about Papyrus’s situation, much less jump to the same conclusion that Alphys had.

 Sans continued to try to look as nonchalant as he could as the two of them took their seats at the bar. He waved Grillby over, trying his best to resist the urge to look over his shoulder. People _weren’t_ staring at them. He had to keep telling himself that. It was only his own paranoia that was making him feel like his sins were crawling on his back. So long as he acted like nothing was out of the ordinary, no one would suspect that anything was wrong.

 Finally, Grillby wandered over. He paused in front of the two skeletons, a suspicious glance moving slowly between the brothers before settling decidedly on Sans. The diminutive skeleton gave the fire elemental a nervous grin, suddenly feeling as though he was looking right through him. Finally, it was Grillby who broke the tension.

 “What’re you boys having tonight?”

 “uhh… the usual. double order of burg with the works.”

 Grillby lingered a moment more, his gaze shifting towards Papyrus for a brief moment before he finally headed along the bar towards the kitchen. Sans was all set to let out a sigh of relief when the bartender abruptly stopped right in front of him. He leaned his elbow against the bar, his back to Papyrus, beckoning the smaller skeleton closer with a single fiery finger. Sans swallowed the lump that had suddenly gathered in his throat before reluctantly leaning forward.

 “Sans… The next time you come here looking for advice, I’m going to have to ask you to tell me how you intend to _use_ that advice before I say a thing.”

 Grillby left the skeleton with that, continuing down the bar and disappearing into the back of the restaurant. Sans could only stare after him even after he was gone, his eyes wide and his leg bouncing apprehensively against the leg of his bar stool. What the hell was _that_ supposed to mean? Was it possible that he _knew_ somehow? But that was impossible!

 Oh, but it got worse. A more dangerous realization had just dawned on him. Everyone knew that the local bartender was always center-stage in any village’s rumor mill. If Grillby knew somehow, then how many others had gotten wind of this? He took a hesitant glance over his shoulder at some of the other patrons. They seemed to look away when they met his gaze, hunching down and whispering to one another. He hastily turned his eyes forward again, drumming his fingers nervously against the surface of the bar.

 Okay, no. No, he had to get a hold of himself! This was crazy! No one even knew Papyrus was pregnant except for Undyne and Alphys! Undyne hated rumors and staunchly refused to spread them, even if they were true, and he’d made Alphys promise not to tell anyone! Of course… He _had_ only made her promise to keep quiet about her grossly incorrect assumption about him being the father… But even if she’d spilled the beans about Papyrus, how could the news have traveled this damn fast?!

 He cast a quick glance up at the taller skeleton sitting next to him. Papyrus didn’t seem to have a care in the world, thanking people whenever they made a comment on his sweater, whether they were being sarcastic or not, and even humming a little tune to himself, completely oblivious to his older brother’s ever-increasing anxiety. Sans let out a shuddering sigh. Well, at least _one_ of them was succeeding at playing it cool…

 Finally, after what felt like hours but was surely only minutes, Grillby returned from the kitchen with their food. A plate was set in front of each of the skeletons with a flame-grilled burger on each, though Papyrus’s plate had a little something extra on the side. The younger of the two brothers picked one of the objects up, arching a brow as he inspected it. It was a French fry in the shape of a smiley face. He looked over at Sans’s plate, saw that his was sorely lacking in fun-shaped potato products, and turned a very confused look towards Grillby.

 “WHAT ARE THESE FOR?” he asked, trying not to sound ungrateful. After all, he was planning on eating them. He was just not used to the fire elemental serving food that hadn’t been ordered. Grillby leaned forward a bit, resting his forearms on the surface of the bar and replying in a low tone so they couldn’t be overheard.

 “They’re on the house… for the _baby_.”

 Papyrus stared at the old fire elemental for a long moment, casting a furtive glance at the smiley face in his hand. Then, he let a big grin spread across his face.

 “OH, THANK YOU!” he replied unflinchingly before popping the fry into his mouth and munching on it happily. Grillby then cast a smoldering gaze Sans’s way before straightening once more, wandering off to attend to other customers. Sans could only sit there, frozen, staring blankly forward. He knew exactly what all that had been; Grillby was confirming the information he’d been given. He knew, and he knew _for sure_ now.

 He couldn’t even bear to glance over his shoulder this time. He could already feel everyone’s eyes on his back. Shit, he wasn’t planning on the news getting out this quickly! He hadn’t even come up with a believable cover story yet! How could this be happening?!

 Suddenly, a realization clicked into place, his eyes widening. He hastily pulled out his phone, swiping over to his little-used social networking app. Sure enough, there was a new message from Alphys, posted for the whole Underground to see.

 ‘Everyone be sure to congratulate @Coolskeleton95 on being a new mama soon! #DuncleSans #jk #dontkillme (but no srsly papyrus is totes preggers)’

 Sans couldn’t stop his hands from shaking in pure rage as he stared at the screen of his phone, his eye glowing a bright blue. He abruptly stood from his seat at the bar without touching his food, shoving his phone violently back into his pocket before storming off towards the exit. Papyrus turned to watch him stomp off, his brows raised in concern.

 “SANS? WHAT’S WRONG? AREN’T YOU HUNGRY?” he called after his brother, unsure if he should go chasing after him. Sans didn’t bother looking back at his younger brother when he shouted out his reply, ignoring the stares he was now receiving openly and from all directions.

 “i changed my mind! i’m in th’ mood for _dinosaur kebabs_ tonight!”

 

* * *

 

 

 Alphys, completely unaware of the doom quickly approaching, was blissfully slurping away at a bowl of ramen noodles, once again engrossed in one of her Japanese cartoons. She was so engrossed, in fact, that she nearly choked on her noodles when a social media notification popped up in the corner of the screen; @Sansational82 has tagged you in a post! Her hands suddenly started shaking so bad that she nearly dropped her chopsticks. Oh no… This did _not_ bode well. With measurable hesitation, she clicked on the notification to display the post in question. The post was a single word. It read simply; ‘you.’ The rest was a photo of a fossilized triceratops skeleton.

 The Royal Scientist didn’t waste any time after that. She scrambled to her feet the instant the threat in the message registered with her. She rushed around the lab, grabbing anything she could find that was relatively heavy and pushing it against the freshly-repaired door to her lab, desperate to build a strong enough barricade before it was too late.

 She appeared to have made it just in time. Just as she was pushing over her bed that folded into an easy-to-draw cube, the whole pile suddenly gave a huge jolt inward, a huge bulge appearing in the thick steel of the door where something on the other side had dented it in with massive force. Alphys let out a terrified squeak, diving to the ground and cowering under the desk she’d pushed over as the loud slams against the outside of the door continued. Eventually, the door was sufficiently warped that a sliver of an opening had been made, a glowing blue eye peering dangerously in.

 “ohh, _aaalphyyys!_ ” called out an all-too-familiar voice in an eerily sing-songy way as skeletal fingers slipped through the crack in the door. There was the groan of steel as they began pulling the doors apart with unbelievable strength. “you think you’re _real_ funny, don’cha? well, i’m gonna teach ya to leave the jokes to the _professionals!!_ ”


	6. Captive Audiences

 “hey, you there?” Sans asked, though no one seemed to be around. The skeleton stood in an icy cavern, the faint glow of bioluminescent mushrooms casting everything in a blue hue. An aged, worn wooden door stood before him, closing him off from the ancient ruins of old. If anyone had happened upon him just then, they’d likely think he was crazy for standing there in the middle of nowhere, talking to a door. They’d then have to wonder if they themselves were crazy, as a voice actually _answered_ him.

 “Yes, I am.” Came the soft voice of a woman from the other side of the door.

 “good. i got kind of a weird question for ya, so bear with me… will you remember me in a year?”

 There was a brief pause before the woman answered somewhat hesitantly.

 “Of course I will.”

 “will you remember me in a month?”

 “Well, if I remember you in a year, of _course_ I’ll remember you in a month.” She replied with a chuckle, and Sans could practically picture her shaking her head at his ridiculousness.

 “will you remember me in a week?”

 “Sans, what are you trying to get at with all this?”

 “knock knock.”

 There was a soft sigh.

 “Who’s there?”

 “see, ya forgot me already!”

 The woman behind the door then burst into a fit of adorable giggles. Sans let a triumphant grin spread across his face, quite proud of himself for that one. It had been a while since he’d been able to come out here and talk to his mysterious friend, and he’d been sorely missing her lately. After all, where else could he get a captive audience like this?

 “You haven’t been coming around here like you used to. I was starting to worry that you’d grown tired of me.”

 Sans’s grin faded slightly at that. Well, now he kind of felt like an ass for staying away for so long. He could never get tired of talking to her, and the mere fact that he’d made this sweet lady think as much was enough to break his heart.

 “no, of _course_ not. i’ve just been dealing with a lot of distractions lately. i’m, uhh…” he paused for a moment, a slight tint of blue coloring his cheeks as he scratched at the back of his head. “i’m gonna be an uncle pretty soon.”

 “Oh my goodness! That’s excellent news!” she squealed out. “I had no idea! I mean, you never mentioned that your brother had a partner.”

 “w-well, he… he doesn’t, really…” Sans admitted slowly. “it kinda happened by mistake, so we’re not sure who the father is. papy ain’t talkin’ on that front.”

 “Now, now,” she scolded in an almost motherly tone. “When it comes to children, there are no ‘mistakes.’ There are only happy little accidents.”

 Sans couldn’t help but let a small smile creep back across his face at that one. That was a cute way to put it.

 “So, in that case, how is your brother feeling about all this?”

 “he’s… well, i’ve told ya plenty of stories about papyrus. you know how he is by now. he was as surprised as any of us at first, but he’s really growin’ to like the idea of havin’ a kid. i just hope he’s up to the task, y’know? he can be pretty naïve sometimes.”

 “Oh, I don’t think you have anything to worry about. He might not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but from what you’ve told me, it’s clear he has a big heart. I think he’ll make a great parent, especially if he’s got a supportive big brother like you to help him.”

 Sans let out a chuckle that was almost bashful.

 “yeah, i guess you’re right. thanks.” He replied. Then, a thought struck him. “hey, you like kids, right?”

 An amused chuckle could be heard from behind the door.

 “’Like’ them? I absolutely _adore_ children.”

 “well, how about this; after my nephew’s born, why don’t i bring him up here sometime? maybe i’ll even find a way to knock this damned door down so you can hold him. sound like a plan?”

 There was a long moment of silence after that, and Sans could feel his grin beginning to falter on him again. Had he overstepped a boundary somehow? Finally, she answered, but her voice was small and trembling slightly.

 “I… I’d love that. Thank you.”

 “hey, no problem. anything for a friend.” He paused, and again he could feel the tension stretching between himself and his friend behind the door. He let out a small sigh. “sorry to cut this short, but i gotta be heading back now. i left papyrus all cooped up alone at the sentry station and i’m sure he’s going nuts with boredom by now. i gotta keep an eye socket on the big idiot so he doesn’t run off and do something stupid before the kid is born.”

 “Alright. It was nice hearing from you again. Don’t be a stranger, and be sure to tell Papyrus I said ‘congratulations!’”

 

* * *

 

 

 Sans was back at the sentry station in no time at all. Sure enough, Papyrus looked as impatient as ever, his leg bouncing lightly where he sat, a single digit tapping against the surface counter he’d leaned his elbows against. When he caught sight of his elder brother approaching, his eyes immediately narrowed into an annoyed glare.

 “WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG?! I COULD HAVE EASILY PATROLLED THE EAST SECTOR IN A QUARTER OF THE TIME YOU TOOK, IF ONLY YOU’D _LET_ ME!” he grumbled, throwing his arms across his chest as he sat back in his chair with a huff. Sans shook his head, letting out a sigh as he took a seat in the chair next to his brother’s.

 “no can do, bro. you can’t be on your feet for so long. besides, this ain’t such a bad gig, is it? you pretty much get a nine-month free pass to lounge around do nothin’! sounds like a dream vacation to me.” he replied coolly, emphasizing the sentiment by leaning his chair back onto its hind legs and propping his feet up on the counter in front of him.

 “BUT I _HATE_ DOING NOTHING! I FEEL AS THOUGH SITTING HERE FOR TOO LONG IS GOING TO TURN ME INTO A COMPLETE LAZYBONES JUST LIKE YOU! REALLY, SANS, AT LEAST _ONE_ OF US HAS TO BE RESPONSIBLE AROUND HERE!”

 “yeah, well, be responsible _after_ ya have the kid. undyne said she’d let ya keep comin’ out here lookin’ for humans _only_ as long as ya follow all of dr. alphys’s orders. That means you sit yer bony butt down and relax, capiche? let me do the walkin’ around for a while.”

 Papyrus opened his mouth to argue the point further but, after making a few small noises of dissatisfaction with the situation at hand, he gave up and slumped back in his seat a bit. Sans felt bad about keeping his little brother cooped up in this small stand all day, he really did, but what else could he do? Papyrus simply _refused_ to give up hunting for humans, despite his current impaired condition. He just couldn’t let go of that silly dream of his to be allowed into the Royal Guard.

 Sans’s eyes drifted downward, coming to a stop where the lanky skeleton’s hand rested gently against his abdomen. The bulge underneath had already gotten big enough to show through even that thick sweater of his. Well, there was no hiding it now. Even the last few remaining monsters in the village who’d assumed Alphys’s infamous announcement had just been a joke would know the truth by know. Not that he cared anymore. Let people whisper all they want. There were far more important things in life than a reputation, like his brother. And his nephew.

 Strange… When had he began thinking of the unborn child as his nephew and not as his reborn father? It was probably Undyne’s fault, he thought. Ever since they found out that Papyrus was pregnant, she’d slipped right into the role of mother hen. She was around almost constantly, and when she wasn’t watching Papyrus like a hawk to make sure he was doing as he’d been told, she was up _his_ ass, constantly badgering him about what he should be doing to help out and be a ‘better uncle.’ Who knew all of that talk would actually get him thinking differently? It actually made him a little more nervous about the whole situation… and a little more excited as well.

 Suddenly, Papyrus drew in a sharp gasp, sitting stiffly upright with an expression on his face as though someone had just dropped an ice cube down the back of his shorts. Sans was quite familiar with the expression, and one didn’t need to be a genius to know why. Thus, the normal reaction from the shorter skeleton would have been to burst out laughing, possibly even to the point where he’d fall back in his chair. This time, however, he was in no laughing mood, especially since the hand that had previously rested gently over the bump in Papyrus’s abdomen now clutched tightly at the fabric stretched over it.

 “h-hey, what’s wrong?! are you okay?!” Sans nearly shouted, jumping to his feet as a wave of icy panic washed over him, absolutely terrified that something might be wrong with the baby. Fortunately, Papyrus didn’t exactly look like he was in pain. He just looked extremely confused, and maybe a bit uncomfortable.

 “I… I DON’T KNOW… I-IT JUST FELT REALLY WEIRD…” he replied hesitantly, looking to his brother with worry and a touch of desperation in his eyes, as if expecting him to explain what was going on with him. Sans would have liked something a bit more descriptive than ‘it felt weird,’ but he wasn’t about to waste time fishing for more at the moment. He slipped a hand under his brother’s sweater, feeling for any cracks in the barrier or anything else that might have caused such a reaction. He’d have preferred to look with his eyes, but he didn’t want to expose the barrier to the cold wind of the perpetual winter of Snowdin. Still, there were no cracks, and the flow of magic within seemed to be holding strongly enough. What on Earth could have happened? Then, he felt something. Papyrus gave another startled jump under his touch.

 “TH-THERE! IT HAPPENED AGAIN!” he whined, looking to his elder brother for answers. Sans could only stare for a long moment, unable to believe what it had turned out to be. He released the breath he’d been holding in a big sigh of relief, pulling his hand out from under Papyrus’s sweater and flopping back down in his chair.

 “it’s just the baby kicking, you bonehead! jeez, i swear, if i had veins, you’d have given me a frickin’ aneurism by now…” he grumbled, slightly perturbed that his brother had made such a big deal out of something so simple. Then again, he preferred that be the case rather than it having been something _truly_ bad. Rather than join the smaller skeleton in his relief, Papyrus seemed somewhat put off by this revelation.

 “ _KICKING?_ HOW RUDE! WHAT DID I EVER DO TO HIM TO DESERVE GETTING KICKED? AND FROM THE INSIDE, TOO!”

 “he’s not really doing it on purpose. he’s just stretchin’ his legs a bit, y’know? that’s _supposed_ ta happen. you should be happy. it means he’s doin’ okay.”

 “ _HMPH!_ WELL, HE CAN FIND ANOTHER WAY OF LETTING ME KNOW HE’S OKAY THAT DOESN’T INVOLVE ME GETTING _KICKED IN THE SPINE!_ ” Papyrus then turned his attention down to his own abdomen. “INFANT, YOU LISTEN TO ME! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL NOT TOLERATE SUCH INSOLENCE FROM MY OWN CHILD! I ORDER YOU TO CEASE THIS UNSETTLING SQUIRMING OF YOURS _IMMEDIATELY!_ ”

 He folded his arms across his chest and nodded decisively at that, as though that settled the matter. Of course, not five seconds later, the lanky skeleton gave a tell-tale flinch. Rather than fly off the handle like he would if it had been Sans ‘deliberately’ disobeying him, he let out an exhausted grumble, slumping back in his seat and giving the ceiling of the sentry station a withering glare.

 “IT FIGURES… I HAVEN’T EVEN _HAD_ THE BABY, YET HE’S ALREADY REACHED THE _REBELLIOUS PHASE_ …”

 Sans couldn’t help but let out an amused chuckle at that one. He knew his brother wasn’t really all that upset about it, he just had to make a drama out of everything. He would get used to the baby’s kicking in time. Honestly, Sans felt a little bad for leaving out that particular bit of information when he was explaining everything to Papyrus. There were so many more important things he had to make sure his brother understood that it had completely slipped his mind to warn him that the baby could move around _before_ it was born. Oh well. He supposed, in retrospect, it had been pretty funny after all.

 

* * *

 

 

 Sans had managed to convince Papyrus to head home shortly after that. He’d have normally insisted on staying until the absolute maximum amount of time currently allowed by Undyne, but it seemed the relative excitement of the day had been enough to wear him down a little. Sans made sure they took their time, not wanting to rush his brother at all as they trudged through the thick snow. Though, perhaps he took a little longer than he should have. When they reached the house, they found that Undyne was already standing outside their door. Judging from the long trench of compacted snow that had been formed in front of the stoop, it was pretty clear that she’d been waiting there for a while.

 “There you two nerds are! D’ya have any idea how long I’ve been waiting here for you?! I was almost gonna send a search party out lookin’ for ya!” the sea sprite berated fiercely, though Sans couldn’t help but notice she was glaring mostly at _him_.

 “hey, it’s not like we got back late or nothin’. in fact, we even left _early_. i mean, we had to stop once ‘cause papy got sick again, but we still made it back on time.”

 “I-it doesn’t matter! You were _almost_ late, and that’s bad enough!” she retorted stubbornly, though it was clear by the look on her face that she was quite aware of how flimsy her argument was. It was _so_ flimsy, in fact, that even Papyrus noticed.

 “ERR… UNDYNE, DON’T YOU THINK YOU’RE BEING JUST A _TINY_ BIT OVERPROTECTIVE? I FEEL PERFECTLY FINE.” He insisted meekly, to which Undyne shot him a fiery glare.

 “That’s enough outta you! Get inside and get warmed up!” he ordered, putting the force of a command in her voice. Papyrus abruptly stood at attention, giving the Royal Guard a stiff salute.

 “Y-YES, MA’AM!”

 The two remaining monsters watched as the no longer quite so skinny skeleton hastily made his way into the house. Undyne let out a small sigh, her fins drooping slightly in exasperation. Sans couldn’t help but arch an eyebrow up at her.

 “look, if you’re so damn worried about him, why don’t you just order him to stay home? he’ll listen if it’s _you_ telling him.”

 “Tch! Yeah right! C’mon, Sans, you live with the guy. You know how stubborn he is about the whole Royal Guard thing. If I gave him orders to stay home, he’d probably go nuts within a day and sneak out on his own. I don’t like him out there like this, but at least this way he’s out there on _my_ terms. Besides…” an uneasy smile crept across her face. “W-with that kid on the way, he’s _gotta_ get tired of trudging all the way out to Snowdin Forest soon, right? I’m… I’m kinda hopin’ he’ll call it quits himself so I don’t have to do it for him…”

 Sans let a small smirk cross his face. Ah, so that was it, huh? After all this time, she still couldn’t bear to tell Papyrus ‘no.’ The skeleton sincerely hoped she’d get over that little weakness of hers real soon, because he knew his brother wasn’t going stop any other way. He let out a small sigh. Oh well. There was nothing to be done about it until then, was there?

 “so, since yer here, wanna stay for dinner?”

 “Ngehh… Sure, why not…” she replied with a shrug, and the two of them headed inside out of the cold. What they found inside was a somewhat amusing sight; Papyrus was standing in the threshold of the kitchen, his pink ‘kiss the cook’ apron draped around his neck, and he was having some difficulty getting it tied in the back. It took him a moment to realize that the two of them were standing there, at which point a faint flush of blue colored his cheeks and he gave an embarrassed smile.

 “I-I, ERR… I DON’T SUPPOSE ONE OF YOU COULD HELP ME WITH THIS..?” he asked bashfully, clearly ready to give up on the task himself. Undyne immediately stormed forward, but rather than help him tie his apron, she grabbed him by the collar of his sweater instead.

 “Just what the hell d’you think you’re doing?!” she growled out, her eye twitching slightly. Papyrus, utterly confused, could only stare back at her for a long moment, unsure how he was supposed to respond.

 “Y-YOU TOLD ME TO COME INSIDE AND WARM UP. THE KITCHEN IS RATHER WARM, SO I THOUGHT I’D KILL TWO BIRDS WITH ONE STONE AND START DINNER?” he replied with a small shrug of his shoulders. That, apparently, was not the answer Undyne was looking for.

 “I don’t think so! You take that thing off right now and go sit down! _I’ll_ make dinner!”

 “B-BUT UNDYNE..! YOU’RE OUR _GUEST!_ GUESTS SHOULDN’T HAVE TO MAKE DINNER WHEN THEY’RE VISITING OTHER PEOPLE’S—“ Papyrus’s protests were cut off suddenly as he flinched, making a face of discomfort. He then shot a glare down at his bulging midsection. “N-NO ONE ASKED FOR YOUR INPUT IN THIS MATTER, YOUNG MAN!”

 At that point, Undyne seemed as though she had tired of arguing and was willing to take matters into her own hands. She clamped her hands down on either side of Papyrus’s shoulders, picked him up almost effortlessly, walked over to the couch, and settled him down into his spot there. The lanky skeleton let out a few small grumbles, but otherwise didn’t dissent even as the sea sprite stole his apron and tied it around herself on the way back to the kitchen. Sans, who had long since settled into his own spot on the couch to watch the whole fiasco, looked up at his younger brother with a grin.

 “hey, it’s like I told ya, bro; ya got a free pass ta sit back and do nothin’. ya might as well enjoy it while ya can!”

 Of course, not a moment after he’d said that, Sans felt a heap of cloth hit his face. Rather confused and more than a little annoyed, he peeled the cloth from his face and held it up to see what it was. It was a second apron, though it was smaller and was just plain white. The skeleton looked up, his brows knit in confusion. Undyne stood in the doorway to the kitchen, her hands set on her hips and her eye staring fiercely right at him.

 “And _you!_ Get your lazy butt off that couch! You’re helpin’ me!”

 Sans let out a small groan of reluctance, but he could tell by the look on Undyne’s face that she wasn’t about to let him worm his way out of this one. Papyrus may have had a free pass to be lazy, but that didn’t extend to him by any means. He let out a sigh, slipping off the couch and grudgingly putting on the apron he was given.

 “lady, i swear, you keep goin’ on like this and people are gonna start thinkin’ _you’re_ the father…”

 “What was that, twerp?!”

 “n-nothin!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to thank Skelly for some fantastic fanart they did based on this story! I'm absolutely honored that my off-the-wall writing has inspired creativity in others! I probably also have them to thank for quite a few of my readers finding this story. In any case, you can find the fanart at the address below. If anyone else feels like they want to draw something based on this story, please feel free to do so and have fun! I'm just absolutely tickled that so many people like this pile of crack that my warped little mind has managed to produce!
> 
> http://skelepreg.tumblr.com/post/137088840832/skelly-whats-your-favorite-part-of-the-fic


	7. Something's Got to Give

 Sans let out a yawn as he made his way out of his bedroom, scratching idly at the back of his head. He started down the hall towards the stairs, eager to get a bit of breakfast in him before he once again had to trek out to Snowdin Forest with his brother. He couldn’t believe the stubborn skeleton still insisted on going all the way out there, even though it was clearly wearing him down more and more each day. Papyrus was already almost seven months along in his pregnancy, yet he still couldn’t give up on his silly quest to capture a human. Worse still, Undyne wasn’t budging on her end either, still insisting he would give it up any day now. He swore, if she didn’t give in and just tell Papyrus to stay home within the next week, he was going to march right over to her house and—

 His internal threat was cut short when his foot caught on something, causing his face to abruptly and rather painfully meet with the carpet in front of him. He let out an annoyed grumble, rubbing lightly at his nose to make sure he hadn’t broken the damned thing before looking down at what had tripped him. It was one of the wooden planks that had recently been taken out of the wall between his room and Papyrus’s. It had probably fallen down from where it had been propped up next to the newly made door in the hall. He let out an exasperated sigh. There was another thing he could blame on Undyne. That was going to be the baby’s room, and of course the sea sprite had insisted on helping them with the renovations to get it ready. Naturally, by ‘helping’ she meant taking a hack saw to the walls and bossing Sans around to do all that tedious ‘putting things back together’ stuff.

 Sans made sure to pick the board up and prop it back against the wall so Papyrus didn’t meet the same fate as him. If that happened, then he’d really have to kill Undyne for leaving that stuff there. Luckily it wasn’t blocking the younger skeleton’s way from his room to the rest of the house, so there was little chance of him tripping on it unless he tried to go down to his elder brother’s room. Still, he didn’t want to take the chance.

 Upon descending the stairs to the living room, Sans came across a rather curious sight. Papyrus was bent over slightly, his hands braced against his knees, and he was glaring angrily at what appeared to be a heap of black cloth on the floor. He couldn’t help but snicker lightly to himself, knowing exactly what was going on here. After all, that was about how far the gravid skeleton could manage to bend anymore without the risk of landing flat on his face, and his arms were clearly not quite long enough to reach whatever was on the ground. It was a little pathetic, but just enough to be funny.

 “ya drop somethin’ again, bro?” Sans asked with just a hint of teasing, finally deciding to show his poor brother a little bit of mercy. He came over and bent down effortlessly – to which Papyrus couldn’t help but narrow his eyes in a bit of envy – grabbing the cloth from off the floor and holding it up to see what it was. It was a long black coat, about Papyrus’s size. The material didn’t seem that thick but it felt plush and warm, so much so that he had to seriously resist the urge to rub his cheek against it.

 “nice jacket. where’d ya get it?”

 “THE CINNABUNNY LADY GAVE IT TO ME.” Papyrus replied, bracing a hand against his sore back as he straightened up with a small grunt of discomfort. “SHE SAID SHE WAS WORRIED THE BABY WOULD GET TOO COLD SINCE I DON’T HAVE ANY ‘MEAT ON MY BONES’—“

 “ _hah!_ ”

 “— _AND_ SINCE I DON’T HAVE A NATURAL FUR COAT LIKE HER, SHE SAID I SHOULD BUNDLE UP MORE. SHE ACTUALLY MADE THAT FOR ME HERSELF! IT WAS RATHER THOUGHTFUL OF HER… I-I’M NOT USED TO JUST GETTING GIFTS LIKE THIS OUT OF THE BLUE.”

 “hey, maybe she’s just showin’ some appreciation for a regular customer.” Sans replied with a smirk as he handed the coat up to his brother. It would make sense, after all. For the past several months, Papyrus had been getting cravings for Cinnamon Bunnies. He’d gotten them so often that it had practically become a morning ritual. Besides, the profit that the nice little shopkeeper had made off of him since the cravings started probably more than covered the cost of her making him that coat.

 Of course, now that he thought about it… Sans took a quick glance around the room, and he spotted it in no time. A pink and yellow pastry box bearing the logo of the Snowed Inn Shop was sitting on the table next to his pet rock, clearly left there for him. One of the best parts about these cravings of his brother’s was that he almost always bought enough to share. Sans casually made his way over to help himself to his ‘breakfast,’ plucking one of the rabbit-shaped cinnamon buns out of the box and biting into it hungrily.

 “ALRIGHT, HOW DO I LOOK?”

 Sans turned to see, already preparing some sort of comment about how the coat _totally_ didn’t make him look fat, but he froze in place before he could get a single word out. His eye sockets widened, and the half-eaten cinnabunny held in his hand was dropped to the floor. For a moment, he really could have fooled himself into thinking he was staring at W.D. Gaster when he’d still been pregnant with Papyrus. Now that he saw it on his brother, that coat looked exactly like the one their father had always worn. It didn’t help that today just happened to be one of those days when Papyrus actually wore a white sweater underneath. He’d never realized before just how much the younger skeleton resembled the old Royal Scientist, but without the cracks in his face, of course. It was… eerie.

 “SANS! YOU’RE MAKING A MESS! I’M NOT CLEANING THAT UP!”

 The light scolding was enough to bring Sans out of his daze. He quickly bent down and scooped up the dropped pastry, stepping into the kitchen to toss it away. He lingered in there for a moment, staring blankly down into the trash can. Why did he not like seeing Papyrus like that? It gave him the chills, but he couldn’t put his finger on why. Maybe it just subconsciously made him a little more nervous for his brother? After all, it hadn’t been too long after the younger skeleton was born that Gaster had…

 “MOURN YOUR LOST BREAKFAST LATER, LAZYBONES! WE’VE GOT TO GET GOING! WE’RE LATE TO OUR POST AS IT IS!”

 “y-yeah. sorry. i’m comin’…”

 

* * *

 

 

 The two of them trudged down the same old path out of Snowdin, making sure to keep to the snow that had already been compacted down by the travels of others. Sans made sure to keep their pace relatively slow, walking slightly behind Papyrus so he could keep an eye on him. He seemed to be doing okay so far, though he hadn’t attempted to pick up the pace on him today like he normally might have.

 “hey, are you sure you’re up for this today? You look tired.” Sans asked for what had to be the millionth time that year. As usual, Papyrus merely scoffed.

 “ _’TIRED?!_ ’” he replied, trying to put a little bit of his usual energy into his clearly weary voice. “THE GREAT PAPYRUS DOESN’T KNOW THE MEANING OF THE WORD!”

 Sans let out a sigh, not fooled in the slightest.

 “c’mon, papy… there’s no shame in admitting you’ve hit your limit. i can pick up the slack for you until you’re ready to come back to the job, and i’m sure undyne can, too.”

 “ _NO!_ IT MUST BE _ME_ WHO CAPTURES THE HUMAN! IT CAN BE NO ONE ELSE!” he retorted instantly. “WE ONLY NEED ONE MORE SOUL! IF I CAN’T CAPTURE THIS LAST ONE, THEN I’LL—“

 “yeah, yeah, I know…” Sans interrupted, having been in this old song and dance more times than he could count. “you’ll never become a famous royal guardsman…”

 Following that, Papyrus normally went on his usual spiel about how fame and popularity would make all of his dreams come true. This time, however, that tired old speech didn’t come. Instead, he suddenly stopped walking, almost causing his brother to run right into the back of him.

 “I-IT’S NOT JUST THAT ANYMORE… I…” he paused, taking a deep breath before releasing it in an almost mournful sigh. “OH, WHO AM I KIDDING? ALL YOU’LL DO IS _LAUGH_ AT ME IF I TELL YOU…”

 Sans stared up at his younger brother for a while, brows knit in confusion. _This_ was definitely new. He’d never seen Papyrus truly _embarrassed_ about anything in his life.

 “i won’t laugh. i promise.”

 Papyrus stared back for a moment, as though trying to judge if he was telling the truth or not, a faint tinge of blue spreading over his cheeks.

 “A-ALRIGHT… I… I WANT TO HAVE THE CHILD ON THE SURFACE.”

 “wait… what..?” Sans asked, somewhat stunned. He certainly hadn’t been expecting _that_.

 “YOU HEARD ME… I WANT TO HAVE MY SON UP ON THE _SURFACE_. I DON’T WANT HIM TO GROW UP DOWN HERE IN THE COLD AND THE DARK LIKE WE DID. I WANT HIM TO BE ABLE TO PLAY UNDER THE SUN AND RUN AROUND IN BIG OPEN FIELDS. I WANT A BETTER PLACE FOR HIM THAN… _THIS_.” He emphasized that last word with a sweeping gesture of his arm, indicating the gloom that surrounded them on all sides. “AND I WANT A PART IN MAKING THAT HAPPEN. THAT’S WHY IT HAS TO BE _ME_ , AND WHY I HAVE TO DO IT _BEFORE_ THE BABY’S BORN.”

 Sans could do nothing but stare for the longest time. Was this really Papyrus he was talking to? He’d never imagined he’d hear his younger brother say something so… _grown up_. He’d kind of hoped, in the back of his mind at least, that the flamboyant skeleton would mature a bit with a kid on the way, but he honestly hadn’t expected him to, especially not to this point.

 Unfortunately, all this really did was complicate matters. With this new revelation, it was clear that Papyrus had doubled down on his quest to capture a human. He wasn’t just doing this for himself anymore, and because of that he wouldn’t be giving up on it, no matter what.

 ‘jeez, papy… why ya gotta do this to me?’ Sans thought to himself. He now understood how Undyne could have so much trouble saying ‘no’ to Papyrus. After all, how could he tell him to give up on something like that without feeling like the biggest jackass on the planet? Of course, it also meant that it was doubly important to convince Undyne to order him home as soon as possible.

 “hey, look… why don’t you head up to the sentry station on your own? it’s not too far now. i gotta head back. i, uhh… i think i left my phone at the house. i’ll be right back, okay?” he announced hastily, quite purposefully neglecting to respond to what his brother had said a moment ago. Papyrus didn’t seem too upset over it. After all, he’d kept his promise not to laugh.

 “ALRIGHT. AND… I PROMISE TO BE CAREFUL.” The taller skeleton replied, giving his brother a small smile as he tacked on that last bit of reassurance that he’d behave himself. Sans, satisfied with that answer, merely replied with a nod before quickly heading back up the path towards Snowdin.

 

* * *

 

 

 Sans, of course, didn’t go all the way back to Snowdin. Instead, he merely made his way down the path until Papyrus was well out of sight, ducking behind some bushes at the side of the road when the coast was clear. He then pulled out his phone – which was most definitely _not_ left at home – and dialed Undyne’s number. He had to wait a few rings before she picked up.

  _“Yeah, whaddaya want? This better be good!”_

 “depends on your definition of ‘good.’ look, this can’t wait anymore. you gotta order papyrus to stop. it’s kinda gettin’ too close to the wire to be playing chicken with him.”

_“I… I know that, dammit! J-just give it a little more time. You were sayin’ earlier this week that he’s startin’ to wear down. He’ll be calling it quits any day now!”_

 “dammit, undyne… he could go into labor at the damned sentry station and he _still_ wouldn’t call it quits. he’s being stubborn as hell about this, even more so than usual.”

  _“Yeah, I seriously doubt he could get any more stubborn than—“_

 “he wants to have the baby on the surface.”

 There was dead air for almost a full minute after that last interruption. Finally, he could hear the sudden rush of air by the speaker as Undyne let out a sigh of defeat.

  _“Alright… I’ll be over to talk to him tonight after you guys get back.”_

 “thanks.”

 Sans hung up after that. Well, that had gone more smoothly than he’d feared. Here he thought he’d be arguing the point with her for a solid hour without her caving in. He supposed that crazy fish lady really did understand Papyrus if just hearing that single scrap of new information was enough to completely switch sides on the issue. Now, even if she’d gone so far as to disband the entire Royal Guard to discourage his human hunting, he’d _still_ have a reason to be out there. He really wasn’t going to quit. Not unless something drastically changed around here.

 Sans eventually climbed out of the bushes and back onto the main path, brushing the snow and leaves off of his coat sleeves before placing his hands back in their usual spots in his pockets. He had to get back to Papyrus, but he couldn’t exactly rush. After all, he had to make it look like he’d gone all the way home and back or his brother may suspect he’d been up to something. Oh well. It’s not like he was in any real rush. After all, if Papyrus just sat there at the sentry station, what could possibly happen to him?

“okay, sans, don’t fuckin’ jinx it now…” he grumbled to himself at that last thought. But really, what _could_ happen?

 

* * *

 

 

 Papyrus had just made it to the sentry station by the time Sans had finished his phone call with Undyne. However, he didn’t immediately take his usual seat inside. The expectant skeleton narrowed his eyes hatefully at that little box of a prison cell. He really didn’t want to sit there all day again, he wanted to do a bit of actual patrolling! His gaze shifted back towards the path home. Knowing that lazybones brother of his, Sans would likely be a while getting back. What harm could a little extra walk do him?

 Papyrus strode defiantly past the little shack, heading down the path leading towards the Ruins. All he would do was make one short jaunt down to the main gate of the Ruins and come right back. Surely something like that was okay. After all, it wasn’t that far of a walk, and the path out that way was mostly level. Surely that fell under his promise to be careful.

 He made his way across the small bridge in the path, slipping through the bars of his ‘expertly-crafted’ gate with little effort, even considering how large his belly had gotten. Perhaps Sans really _was_ onto something when he said he’d made them too wide… Well, it didn’t matter now. He’d fix that at a later date.

 Pretty soon the door to the Ruins was in sight. Papyrus let out a small grumble to himself. Dammit, he knew it would be quick, but he didn’t think his little detour would be over _that_ soon. He let out a sigh, unconsciously resting a hand against the swollen barrier in his abdomen, feeling a familiar wriggling within. Perhaps even this short of a walk was getting to be too much for him? The baby certainly didn’t care for it, given that he’d started to ‘complain’ already.

 “ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT… YOU WIN, KID. I’LL GO BACK…” he grumbled, gently rubbing at the spot where he knew the unborn infant’s back was pressed close against the barrier, hoping that might calm him a little. Oh well. It had been worth a shot, but he knew he’d better go sit down and wait for his brother to join him back at the…

 Papyrus froze, catching movement out of the corner of his eye. He quickly turned back towards the Ruins and, much to his surprise, the door was _open_. But… That was impossible, wasn’t it? The doors had been sealed for ages! And… Wait… What was that in _front_ of the door? It looked to be a figure, a small one, possibly even shorter than Sans. Was it… a child? The skeleton was so stunned by this development that he stood immobile as the creature approached, stopping mere meters in front of him. Finally, a word came to him, an identification as to what this strange thing simply _must_ be.

 “HUMAN!” Papyrus announced with a huge grin on his face, trying his best to revive his usual boisterousness in his voice as he puffed out his chest heroically. Or, at least what he _hoped_ looked ‘heroic.’ It was hard to tell how it came off, given his current physical state. Then, his eyes narrowing suspiciously, his grin began to falter slightly, a seed of doubt taking root. “N-NO, I MEAN… HOLD ON JUST ONE SECOND, YOU!”

 Papyrus turned from the creature so it couldn’t see him pull a small booklet from a pocket inside his coat. It was titled, appropriately enough, ‘How to Identify a Human.’ He flipped through it hastily, more or less skimming the contents of the pages. Okay, moppet haircut – check. Skin coloration – yeah, totally one of those listed there. Clothing – yep, it wore clothes alright. Well, that settled that! He snapped the booklet shut and replaced it into his coat before turning to face the human once more.

 “HUMAN!! I, THE GREAT— _GAHHH!!_ ” Papyrus’s reignited speech was cut short suddenly when he looked down to find that the human was not standing a few yards away where he’d left it, but was now standing mere _inches_ from him. He hastily drew back a few steps, already thoroughly creeped out by the little primate creature from the surface world. He then tried his best to recover the trembling remains of his confident grin, though all he really managed was a shaky half-smile.

 “TH-THAT’S VERY RUDE, YOU KNOW! Y-YOU SHOULDN’T SNEAK UP BEHIND PEOPLE LIKE THAT!” he scolded half-heartedly, taking another step back. He wasn’t sure why he was so nervous. Was it the calm, hungry smile on its face? Could it be the two glints of red behind that veil of brown hair? Perhaps the toy knife it held in its hand, a fine layer of dust covering the plastic blade? No, surely not. This may be a human, but it was but a _child_. How much harm could a little lost child do him?

 

* * *

 

 

 Sans was about halfway back to the sentry station when he heard his brother’s ringtone sound from inside his pocket. That was odd… Was Papyrus already beginning to wonder what was taking him so long? Perhaps he _was_ moseying along a bit too slowly…

 “hey, bro. what’s up?” he answered casually, but his brother didn’t reply immediately. He could hear sounds on the other end, quick footsteps through thick snow, the sound of a branch breaking, and, most worrying of all, Papyrus’s ragged, breathless panting. He was running from something. Sans immediately took off up the path at full sprint, running faster than he could remember having ever moved before in his life.

 “papyrus?! what’s wrong?! what’s going on?!” he shouted over the phone, trying to get some clue as to what had happened and just how much danger his younger brother had stumbled into. It took a while for Papyrus to catch his breath enough to give a coherent answer, but when he finally did, it chilled the shorter skeleton to the core.

 “ _H-HUMAN!!_ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone else has drawn some fantastic fanart for the story! I'm not sure if they want to remain anonymous or not, as they haven't replied to my message as of this writing, but I'll update this note with their tumblr name if they want me to. For now, you can see this lovely piece of art on Skelly's wonderful blog below. Also, I'm just so amused that one need only say "The Fic" when referring my story. This amuses me.
> 
> Thanks again, anonymous-for-now artist!
> 
> http://skelepreg.tumblr.com/post/137221631792/i-got-around-to-reading-the-fic-last-night-and-man


	8. Genocide

 Papyrus rested his back against a tree as he fought to catch his breath, his throat burning from the frigid air. His legs shook wearily from how far he’d run, his knees almost threatening to give out from under him. A shaking hand clutched at the side of his abdomen where a long slice had been made in his coat. Hesitantly, he willed himself to look, lifting the dark fabric with a deep feeling of dread. The slash seemed to have gone through the coat alone, the white sweater underneath left seemingly untouched. He let out a small sigh of relief between panting breaths. Good, so he’d managed to dodge in time after all. The stabbing pain in his side must have just been from running, then.

 He flinched as he felt a particularly hard kick of protest from his unborn son. He rubbed lightly at his belly, feeling a bit bad for the child after the impromptu marathon he’d had to run. The poor little thing was probably so confused, wondering just what the hell his mother was up to out there. After all, Papyrus couldn’t imagine something like that would be terribly comfortable for the baby. Unfortunately, it didn’t look like his running was over just yet.

 The skeleton practically held his breath as he heard the tell-tale crunch of feet stalking through snow. For what was possibly the first time in his life, Papyrus waited patiently. He listened carefully to the footsteps, his hands shaking as he could hear them getting closer and closer, and he waited for them to fade away. He couldn’t help but wonder if he was even properly hidden at all. Were he not pregnant, he’d have easily been able to hide his twig of a body behind the tree he rested against. Of course, were he not pregnant, there wouldn’t have been a reason for him to hide at all. He could have fought back without guilt, without risk to anyone but himself.

 Finally, the footsteps started getting a little too close for comfort. Papyrus darted out from behind the tree, taking off as fast as he could still manage, weaving through the thinning trees. He was rapidly running out of places to hide, and his normally infinite supply of stamina was beginning to fail him. He cursed to himself. He knew sitting around these past several months would turn him into a lazybones! He was already out of shape!

 Suddenly, the tree cover gave way entirely, and Papyrus found himself running across a barren white field. With nowhere left to hide, his hope gave out at about the same time his legs did. The skeleton collapsed onto his hands and knees in utter exhaustion. It was all he could do to keep himself propped up even like that, his arms and legs shaking beneath him, his vision beginning to blur. He shook his head to clear the encroaching fog from it, but that only served to make him dizzier than he had already become.

 The distant sound of footsteps crunching through snow pulled Papyrus from the edge of passing out. He hastily flipped over onto his backside, partially because he wasn’t sure how much longer he could hold himself up like that, but mostly so he could keep an eye on the creature stalking him. The human had just emerged from the tree line and was making its way towards him, walking as calmly as ever. He couldn’t help but remember something he’d read in one of the books in the library – one of the _actual_ human history books, not one of Alphys’s comics. This was how humans used to hunt their prey; they would simply _walk_ after the animal they stalked, making it run off in fright. Then, they would find it again, and the creature would run. They would keep doing this for miles on end until the creature they were hunting finally died of exhaustion, essentially making their prey do their work for them. That’s what this was; a hunt. And Papyrus was the prey.

 He scrambled backwards in the snow as best he could as the human approached, unable to take his eyes off of the dust-coated blade in its hand. What was he supposed to do now? He couldn’t run anymore. Hell, he doubted if he’d be able to stand up at the moment, much less resume fleeing. And this child – no, this little _demon_ – didn’t look as though he would spare him at the last second. Then, apparently seeing an easy victory in sight, the human finally broke out into a run towards him, its wide grin like that of a wolf bearing its teeth, that knife held high, ready to sink it deep into its victim. Papyrus let out a terrified shriek, holding his hand up in a feeble attempt at a defense, calling out to the first person he could think of to save him.

 “ _SAAANS!!_ ”

 

* * *

 

 

 Sans was currently running through the vastness of Snowdin Forest, covering whole meters in single ‘shortcut’ steps. He fought to stay relatively calm, fought to keep himself from panicking. Of all the times for a human to show up, why did it have to be _now?_ And why did it have to set its sights on his _brother_ of all monsters? And why out here? He wasn’t sure how far Papyrus could have run in his condition, but at least he had a general path to follow. He’d eventually found a set of footprints that looked as though they could have been from the taller skeleton’s boots. He tried to keep close to it, but that meant he had to make his shortcuts a little shorter than he might have liked.

 “fuck! this is taking too long!” he cursed to himself. Papyrus couldn’t have lasted long this late in his pregnancy. For all he knew, his brother and his nephew were already… He shook the thought from his head before it had a chance to finish itself. No, he couldn’t let himself think that! Papyrus was going to be okay! The baby was going to be okay! He would find them soon! He _had_ to!

_“SAAANS!!”_

 The shout rang out through the trees, filling Sans with a sense of relief and dread all at once. Papyrus was still alive, at least, but he sounded as though he was still in very deep trouble. The shorter skeleton decided to chance a longer shortcut in the direction of the shout, desperate to find his brother before it was too late. He wound up standing at the edge of the trees, staring out across a vast white clearing. He spotted them instantly; a very expectant skeleton collapsed in the snow, a human child dashing forward on the attack, a knife raised high.

 “ _no!!_ ” Sans shouted. He was at his brother’s side in half a step, turning to glare at the approaching human with a single, glowing blue eye, his hand flying out on the attack. In an instant, what appeared to be a giant canine skull materialized between the human and Papyrus, effectively shielding the helpless mother-to-be. The human barely had time to skid to a stop in the snow before the ghastly skull opened its mouth wide, a torrent of magical energy bursting forth and slamming into the demon-child’s body with the force of a freight train.

 When the flurry of snow kicked up from the blast died down, the human was nowhere to be seen. A huge trench was all that was left where the creature had previously stood, a trench that extended all the way to the trees, and then some. The canine skull faded into nothingness, and Sans was left there, staring with wide eyes at the destruction before him, his hand only half extended. That was a Gaster Blaster. They were the cornerstone of his best attacks. There was only one problem; that wasn’t _his_ Gaster Blaster.

 He then looked down to Papyrus, half in concern, half in shock. The taller skeleton still had a shaking hand raised up in defense, his eyes snapped shut as though he couldn’t bring himself to watch what had happened. After a moment in which he realized he hadn’t met a painful, violent end, he peeked open his right eye a bit. Sans just barely stifled a gasp as he watched a flicker of blue fade from his brother’s eye.

 “I-IS IT G-GONE..?” Papyrus asked hesitantly. Sans couldn’t find the words to answer right away. All he could do was stare down at his younger brother. Had he really…? No that was impossible! Papyrus had never even _seen_ a Gaster Blaster before in his life, and he sure as hell didn’t know how to summon one! Of course, the alternative answer to this mystery seemed even more impossible. After all, the only two monsters who could summon such weapons were himself and his father. His eyes shifted down to his brother’s largely swollen abdomen. He knew that unborn babies could sometimes use their magic while still inside their mothers, but it usually amounted to amusing little things like remote controls flying across the room, not _this_.

 “W-WOWIE! D-DID _I_ DO THAT?!” Papyrus exclaimed suddenly, effectively pulling Sans from his reverie. Finally, he gave his brother a half-smile.

 “u-uhhh… ya sure did, bro. good job!”

 A weary smile spread across Papyrus’s face, but it flicked away almost instantly. Sans had to trace his brother’s gaze to see what was the matter; there was a figure running towards them from the tree line. He froze. Could the human really have survived after taking a blast like that? Then, as the figure got closer, he let out a sigh of relief. Even from here, that bulky steel armor and bright red ponytail were unmistakable.

 “don’t worry, it’s just undyne. i called her on the way here. i figured we might need back-up.”

 Of course, the instant Undyne reached them, she set right into her mother hen routine.

 “What happened?! Papyrus, are you okay?! Where’s that li’l human punk?! I swear, I’ll tear ‘em limb from limb for this!”

 “don’t worry about the human. it’s all taken care of.” Sans replied, slipping his hands into his hoodie pockets. “look, undyne, can ya do me a favor? i need you to take papy out to alphys. have her look him over and make sure he isn’t hurt. i’ll catch up with you later.”

 Undyne didn’t need to be told twice. Hell, by the looks of her, she’d probably been getting ready to take him on her own initiative if Sans hadn’t said anything. She slipped an arm under Papyrus’s legs and braced his back with the other, carefully hoisting his flimsy weight up out of the snow.

 “W-WAIT!” Papyrus protested even as he shivered against Undyne’s breastplate. “WH-WHAT ABOUT THE HUMAN’S SOUL?! I STILL HAVE TO FIND IT AND BRING IT TO THE KING!”

 “Hell no!!” Undyne retorted forcefully. “I’m not lettin’ you come out here anymore! You’re officially on maternity leave, starting right now!!”

 “AWW, BUT UNDYNE–!”

 “don’t worry about it, bro.” Sans interjected, giving his brother a reassuring smile. “i’ll go see if i can find it. i’ll even save it so you can give it to the king yourself, okay? we’ll make sure he knows you were the one that got it for him.”

 That much seemed to satisfy Papyrus for now, and he finally let Undyne carry him off. Once alone, Sans turned a glowing eye back towards the shattered tree line where the human’s body had been thrown after being hit full-force by the Gaster Blaster. He still wasn’t sure if it had been Papyrus or the baby that had conjured the weapon, or even some odd combination of the both of them, but the result was rather typical of his younger brother. He never could bring himself to finish the job, always leaving his opponents with at least one good hit left in them. Sans, on the other hand, wasn’t so innocent and caring. He wasn’t afraid to get his hands dirty, and the way he was feeling right now, he was more than happy to paint the entire forest red.

 

* * *

 

 

 The human child, battered and broken, lay in a heap at the base of a shattered tree. Still, they were not dead. By sheer force of determination, the child rose, their hand still gripping the hilt of the toy knife. They wiped the trickle of blood from their lip and shambled forward, down the path of broken and fallen trees that marked out where the Gaster Blaster had thrown them. This was but an insult, one that they fully intended to repay a thousand fold.

 “i gotta admit, yer tougher than ya look, kid.”

 The child whirled around when they heard the voice addressing them from behind. There, standing right where they had landed a moment ago, was a short skeleton wearing a blue hoodie. He stood with his hands in his pockets, his eyes closed, a serene smile on his face.

 “y’know, i’m just gonna be straight with ya; if you woulda come here a year ago, i’d have just let ya go on yer way, watched how you handled things from this point on. i’d have given you a _chance_. ‘cause, y’know, s’like my brother always says; even the worst people have some good in ‘em. i’d have liked ta see if _you_ had any good in you, if for no other reason than ta humor papy, but…” the skeleton paused, finally opening his eyes. His left eye socket burned with a fiery blue glow. “… i’m afraid ya caught me at a _bad time_.”

 The human wasn’t given the chance to retort before Sans pulled a hand from his pocket, a blue aura already blazing around it. The child’s arms were immediately constricted against their body as though a giant invisible hand held them in its grasp. The skeleton then swiped his arm forcefully to one side. The child was sent flying, slamming into the trunk of a tree so hard that some of the roots began to rip from the ground.

 “and y’know what? i honestly don’t think a fuckin’ coward like you _deserves_ a second chance like that.” he growled out through gritted teeth, slamming the human into tree after tree until the toy knife finally flew from their hand. Only then did he raise them high into the air, bringing them crashing down to the ground with such force that it left a crater in the snow. But, even after all that, the child refused to stay down. They climbed shakily to their feet once more and, though their right arm hung in a mangled, lifeless mess at their side, their eyes still burned with determination, and they stepped defiantly towards Sans.

 “how in the hell can anyone with a soul think to attack someone who has no chance of fighting back? how can you live with yourself knowing you wouldn’t hesitate to murder someone who’s carrying a goddamned baby?!”

 Sans’s hand was held high once more. The human flinched, fully expecting to be thrown in the air once more. When nothing seemed to happen, they looked up. At that moment, over a dozen huge, glowing blue bones came crashing down around them, forming a cage around them, the gaps between the bones too narrow for even the young human to slip through. The skeleton approached the cage slowly, never taking his eye off the creature within as he conjured more bones above. These ones were white, though they looked like they’d been broken in half, their jagged, spear-like ends aimed down at the captive human below.

 “burn in hell, kid.”

 And the bones converged downwards.

 

* * *

 

 

 It wasn’t too long before Sans made it to the Royal Lab in Hotland, having come straight there after ‘dealing’ with the human. He probably should have stopped by the house first to clean up a bit, but he was too worried about Papyrus to waste another second on himself. As soon as he walked into the lab, he spotted his brother sitting in Alphys’s computer chair, a warm blanket wrapped around his shoulders. Undyne, having abandoned her armor to keep from passing out in the heat of Hotland, was hovering over the pregnant skeleton as usual, Alphys standing nearby. Papyrus seemed to instantly perk up when he spotted his brother at the door.

 “SANS! THERE YOU ARE! DID YOU FIND THE HUMAN’S SOUL?” he asked eagerly, though his smile seemed to falter when he got a good look at the shorter skeleton. “IS THAT KETCHUP ALL OVER YOUR SHIRT?! HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU NOT TO BE SO MESSY WHEN YOU EAT?! YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I HATE TRYING TO GET KETCHUP STAINS OUT OF WHITE CLOTHING!”

 Papyrus then made a move as though he was going to get up, presumably to demand Sans’s clothes so he could wash them, but Undyne’s firm hand on his shoulder kept him seated. Sans looked down at himself, at the red splatters peppering his clothing. Ketchup. Yeah. That worked. He cast a quick glance up at Undyne, who was staring down at him without humor in her face. She wasn’t fooled, but she didn’t intend to break the illusion for Papyrus either.

 “yeah, about the soul, papy… sorry, i couldn’t find anything.” He replied apologetically, to which Papyrus looked absolutely distraught.

 “W-WHAT?! B-BUT..!” he began to protest, and for a moment it looked as though the poor guy would start crying out of sheer frustration. Sans couldn’t help but cringe a bit at that. He always felt so bad when Papyrus started getting emotional like this. He never knew what to do when he just started crying for little to no reason.

 “h-hey, it’ll be okay, bro. i don’t think that was really a human anyway.” He assured, giving his brother’s forearm a light, reassuring pat. Papyrus looked down at him in confusion, though tears still held a lingering threat at the corners of his eyes.

 “I-IT… IT WASN’T..?”

 “nah. i think it was just some soulless creature pretendin’ to be human. it’s not your fault, papy. hell, i fell for it, too. but i’m sure another will show up. it’s… it’s not the end of the world or anything.”

 But, judging from the look on Papyrus’s face, it must have seemed like it to him. After all, even he knew that humans didn’t fall down into the Underground very often. It would be years before another came, meaning there was virtually no chance of him having his baby up on the surface. After a long moment, the younger skeleton let out a sigh.

 “LET’S JUST GO HOME, SANS… I’M… I’M TIRED…”

 

* * *

 

 

 Sans took Papyrus home after that and made sure he went right up to bed. Alphys had said that both he and the baby seemed to be fine, but he was physically exhausted from the experience. That much was obvious, especially if Papyrus had been worn down enough to actually _admit_ to being tired. He would be okay, but he needed to rest. That suited Sans just fine, especially since he still had one last thing to check up on after the chaos that day had brought. He waited until he was sure his brother was fast asleep, changed out into clean clothes, and headed out to Snowdin Forest once more.

 

* * *

 

 

 Sans stood in the dimly-lit cavern where he’d often met with his mysterious friend from the Ruins, his hands in his pockets, his eyes staring at the floor. He almost couldn’t bear to look at that worn wooden door, almost didn’t dare to speak. He knew the child had come from the Ruins, knew who must have surely found them and tried to help them, knew…

 No…. No, he refused to believe it until he had some solid proof. All he really needed to get that proof was to say two little words. The problem was, he wasn’t sure if he wanted proof. He didn’t know if he could handle it. He’d been so close to losing so much today, he didn’t need another heartache on top of it all. But what was the alternative? Never talking to her again for fear of confirming that he can never talk to her again? That was utter foolishness. Finally, he took a deep breath, steeling himself for whatever answer he would receive.

 “knock knock.”

 He waited. Minutes passed, but he received no answer. But… perhaps she hadn’t heard? Yes, that was it. He would try a little louder this time.

 “kn-knock knock!” he called out, but again, nothing. This time he stepped forward, reaching up and physically knocking against the door, trying to hold back the tears that were welling up in his eyes. Still, nothing but silence greeted him on the other end. This time he pounded with his fist, hearing the echo of the impact ring out against the stone walls on the other side of the door. Still nothing. He slowly fell down to his knees, resting his forehead against the cold surface of the door as the tears began streaming down his cheeks. He continued to knock desperately, though the strength of his knocks gradually became weaker and weaker. Finally, all he had the heart for was one last plea.

 “p-please… please answer me, lady… knock knock…”

 But nobody came.


	9. Hope

 “BUT SANS! I WANT TO SEE IT! CAN’T I JUST TAKE ONE LITTLE PEEK?” Papyrus begged even as his elder brother gently ushered him back towards the couch for what had to be the hundredth time that day. Sans shook his head.

 “no way, bro. you gotta wait until we’re done. you don’t wanna ruin the surprise, do ya?” he scolded lightly, though he couldn’t seem to wipe the grin off of his face even as the taller skeleton let out a groan of disappointment. He couldn’t help it. Just seeing his brother so excited over something always made him happy. Hell, Papyrus hadn’t been this excited about anything since they’d made his favorite costume over a year ago. He’d probably be dancing in anticipation just as he had then if only he wasn’t almost to term in his pregnancy.

 Sans helped the expectant skeleton ease down into his seat on the couch, slipping a pillow behind his lower back as he did so. Papyrus let out a tired sigh as he let himself sink back into the cushions of the couch, his hand rubbing lightly at the large, bulging barrier that just barely fit under his sweater anymore.

 “it won’t be too much longer, i promise.” The shorter skeleton assured, giving his brother a reassuring smile. “as soon as the paint dries, i’ll come get you right away so you can see it. until then, just watch some tv and relax, okay? and if ya start feelin’ weird at all, just holler up at us and we’ll come right down.”

 Papyrus arched a brow at that last bit.

 “’FEELING WEIRD?’ YOU’LL HAVE TO BE MORE SPECIFIC THAN THAT. I’VE DONE NOTHING _BUT_ FEEL WEIRD FOR THE PAST EIGHT AND A HALF MONTHS!”

 “alright… holler if you start hurting at all, or if it feels like the baby’s coming. is that specific enough for ya?”

 “I SUPPOSE I COULD WORK WITH THAT…” Papyrus grumbled in reply, folding his arms across his chest with a light huff. “BUT DON’T DAWDLE! I’D LIKE THE NURSERY TO BE READY _BEFORE_ THE BABY’S BORN!”

 “don’t worry. we’ll have it done by the end of the day, i swear. we aren’t gonna leave this little guy hanging without a room of his own.” Sans replied, giving his brother’s belly a gentle pat. That seemed to coax a small smile out of the younger skeleton, at least.

 With that matter finally settled, Sans made his way back upstairs, past Papyrus’s bedroom to the new door a little further down the hall. A piece of paper was taped to the outside, reading: “No peeking! That means _you_ , Papyrus!!” He couldn’t help but smirk at that. It had been written by Undyne, so there was a decent chance that his brother would actually do as it said. Of course, half of the time Sans still expected to come out into the hall and find Papyrus standing there, staring at the door and fidgeting indecisively, unsure which was stronger; his urge to peek at the baby’s unfinished nursery, or his absolute obedience to the Captain of the Royal Guard.

 Said Captain was still busy at work when the shorter skeleton walked in, her tongue sticking out of the corner of her mouth slightly as she concentrated on the Gyftrot she was painting into the mural on the wall. She only looked up once she got done with the particular bit she was working on.

 “You take care of him for good this time?” Undyne asked, a clear note of annoyance in her voice. Sans could only reply with a shrug of his shoulders.

 “can’t make any promises on that one. you know how stubborn he can be. he could be up here in five minutes for all i know.” he said as he made his way up the step ladder in the center of the room. Undyne watched him with a bit of unease as he picked up the paintbrush left at the top of the ladder and resumed his work on the ceiling.

 “Are you sure you don’t want me to do that? I mean, I don’t have as far to fall as you do.”

 “oh, short jokes. real funny.” He grumbled to himself under his breath before answering her proper. “nah, i wanna do this part. it’s… it’s important.”

 After a short moment, Sans set down his paintbrush, wiping his hand on his already blue- and yellow-stained shirt. Papyrus had already given him a hard time about getting paint all over his clothes, but he hoped perhaps seeing the final result of their work would take his mind off such trivial things.

 “hey, undyne… i’ve been meaning to ask… why are you doing this? i mean, painting nurseries and putting together babies’ cribs doesn’t exactly sound like something that’d be in the royal guard’s job description.” Sans asked, mostly just for a bit of small talk. Undyne let out a scoff, turning back to her painting.

 “Tch! Giving cooking lessons ain’t part of being in the Royal Guard either, but I still do that, too! Papyrus is my friend, and I’ll help out a friend whenever and _however_ I damn well please!” she replied as boisterously as ever. Sans let a smirk creep across his face, and he opened his mouth to issue forth a witty retort, but he didn’t get the chance.

 “Besides…” the sea sprite continued, her tone markedly more subdued and serious than a moment ago. “I… I’ve got a lot of hope riding on this kid…”

 The skeleton’s smirk faded quickly, and he soon found himself staring down at Undyne’s back as she continued to paint.

 “what do you mean by that?” he asked hesitantly, his brows furrowing in mild suspicion. Did she know about..? No, that was impossible. He’d done very well at keeping the whole Gaster thing under wraps. Undyne let out a sigh, her fins drooping lightly as she lowered her paintbrush down from the wall.

 “What I mean is… I’m hoping this kid will finally give him something better to focus his energy on rather than trying to get into the Royal Guard.”

 “oh…” Sans replied, the stiffness in his shoulders easing away at that, though not in relief. “you know, if he doesn’t qualify, you should just _tell_ him. leading him on like this is only going to make it hurt worse for him in the end.”

 “That’s the problem! He _does_ qualify!” she growled out, running her fingers roughly through her ponytail in aggravation. “Hell, he _more_ than qualifies! Papyrus is one tough bastard, in his own weird way. Normally, I’d jump at the chance to have a guy that strong in my ranks, and then I’d have to start worrying about him taking _my_ job! But… C’mon, Sans. You were there. You saw what happened with the human. Even fighting to save his life, even fighting to save his _baby’s_ life… He still couldn’t bring himself to finish that crazy little bastard off. _You_ had to do it.”

 Sans let out a sigh at that. Yes, he and Undyne had had a good long discussion after the ‘human’ incident about what happened. There wasn’t really any way he could hide the truth from her, not with the evidence splattered all over his body. He just wished the truth didn’t have to come at the expense of his brother’s life-long dream.

 “so there’s no chance, then? none at all?” he asked softly, to which the sea sprite shook her head.

 “’Fraid not… I love the guy to death – platonically, of course – but I just can’t have someone in the Guard who’s too nice to kill when he has to. But… There’s just no way to derail the stubborn bastard. Any time I make up an excuse why he can’t join, he just starts working extra hard to overcome some flaw I just made up off the top of my head. I can’t keep doing that to him. He _lives_ for this stupid dream of his. I _know_ that. I’m just really hoping this kid will give him something more worth-while to live for, something better to pour his love and his passion into. So, if doing this lame domestic shit helps him do that, even if it’s only a _little_ bit, then it’ll be worth every second I spend here…”

 Sans could only stare down at her for the longest time. Did she… Did she really mean all that? A small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. She may not have a problem with killing, but sometimes Undyne had her ‘too nice’ moments as well… and right now he wouldn’t change that for the world.

 

* * *

 

 

 “alright, papy, close your eyes!”

 Papyrus narrowed his eyes down at his elder brother almost disdainfully, his arms folding across his chest once more.

 “CLOSE MY EYES?! BUT I THOUGHT YOU WERE FINALLY GOING TO LET ME SEE THE NURSERY! HOW CAN I SEE IT WHITH MY EYES CLOSED?!” he complained loudly, now glaring at the plain-looking door in front of him. He’d actually gotten somewhat comfortable down on the couch, and now that they finally dragged him upstairs to see the baby’s room, they were going to make him do it with his eyes closed?! If this was Sans’s idea of a joke, it was one of his worst yet!

 “c’mon, bro. just trust me on this.” Sans replied, his grin never faltering.

 “BUT—“

 “Oh, for fuck’s sake! C’mere!” Undyne growled, coming up behind Papyrus and clamping her hands over his eyes. The expectant skeleton let out a startled yelp, but could do little more than wriggle ineffectually in her iron grasp. He then felt Sans take his hand, gently leading him forward into the room. Only when they were right about in the middle of the room did the sea sprite finally uncover his eyes to let him see.

 All of the furniture had been set up; the crib pushed against the wall that separated the nursery from Papyrus’s own bedroom, a mobile featuring tiny stuffed woodland creatures hanging just above it, a rocking chair sitting just next to the window, and a dresser already filled with the baby’s clothes. Papyrus had seen most of that stuff before, of course. It was hard to hide big things like that when Undyne and his brother had to carry them through the house and up the stairs. What he hadn’t seen was the paintjob the two had kept hidden from him for the past several days.

 The walls seemed to stretch out into a vast field edged by a lush green forest, pale blue mountains towering in the distance. A herd of Gyftrot were painted frolicking at the forest’s edge, and bunnies the color of cinnamon sugar munched happily on clovers among the golden flowers. Papyrus opened his mouth to say something, but he felt a tug at his sleeve before he could find the right words. He looked down to see Sans standing there at his side, offering him little more than a grin as he pointed up towards the ceiling. He looked up, and this time he fell truly speechless.

 A bright yellow sun had been painted in the center of the ceiling, surrounded by a light blue sky that was only occasionally broken by a puffy white cloud swirling about. If he looked hard enough, he might have noticed the countless tiny flecks of glow-in-the-dark paint that discolored the mural ever so slightly, but would glow like stars when the lights were turned off.

 “so? waddaya think? was it worth the wait?” Sans asked, grinning ear to ear and eager to see his brother’s reaction to all of the hard work they’d put into everything. His grin flicked away when Papyrus finally looked back down at him. He was crying, tears streaming down the sides of his face. The shorter skeleton shrunk back a little. Had he chosen wrong when he decided to paint the nursery like the surface world? Had he perhaps only served to dig up the feelings of failure that had made Papyrus so depressed in the weeks following the human incident? Maybe this hadn’t been such a hot idea after all…

 Suddenly, Sans felt himself being pulled into a tight hug along with Undyne, his brother burying his face against his shoulder.

 “I LOVE IT!! IT’S ABSOLUTELY PERFECT! THANK YOU! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!” Papyrus more or less sobbed out, making no attempt to mask how emotional the whole thing had made him. Undyne’s eye twitched slightly at the sudden close physical contact, but she managed to reign in her annoyance for now, even managing an awkward pat on the pregnant skeleton’s back. Sans wasn’t nearly so hesitant, hugging his brother back warmly as he let out a quiet little sigh of relief to himself. So he’d managed to hit the mark after all.

 

* * *

 

 

 The day had been a long and tiring one, but in the end it was all worth it. Undyne had made sure Papyrus had something to eat before heading home for the day, and now the two skeletons were cuddled close on the couch to enjoy an evening of television together. Sans was tucked under his brother’s arm against his side, his head resting gently on Papyrus’s swollen belly. It felt warm, even through the younger skeleton’s thick sweater, and he could feel the gentle beating of the unborn infant’s soul against his cheek, along with the occasional kick. Papyrus had grown so used to them that he didn’t even flinch anymore.

 Everything about that moment seemed to be conspiring against Sans’s flimsy intent to stay awake. It was all very comforting in a way he hadn’t felt in years. His eyelids seemed to grow heavier with each soft beat of his little nephew’s soul, and his whole body seemed to melt into relaxation as Papyrus absent-mindedly rubbed at his back. This was nice. So much better than all the worrying he’d been doing these past nine months or so. In fact, he was so sleepy at the moment that he could have almost fooled himself into thinking he was back in a time when everything was better, when he didn’t have to worry about anything at all, when it felt like his family was still whole.

 “dad…” he mumbled out so softly that he’d hardly noticed it himself, snuggling into his brother’s soft sweater as sleep finally took him.

 Sans was roused from his little nap a few hours later, though by what he couldn’t tell. The living room had grown dark, illuminated only by the pale glow of the static-filled TV screen. It must have been pretty late at night if Mettaton wasn’t even broadcasting anymore. He looked up to Papyrus. The taller skeleton was fast asleep, his head propped up against his hand with his elbow resting on the arm of the couch. Sans smiles lightly. His younger brother was normally so full of energy that he wouldn’t dream of finding him just falling asleep on the couch like this. Of course, these past few months had been more trying for him than for anyone else, and he wasn’t surprised to find that Papyrus was growing more and more easily exhausted by the day. A lot of that was the baby’s fault. This close to his due date, the little thing would be draining his magic like crazy in preparation for the birth.

 Careful not to wake him up, Sans pulled himself out from under where Papyrus had draped his arm over him. He then turned the TV off and retrieved a blanket, covering his brother with it and tucking him in as best he could. Papyrus hadn’t stirred a bit throughout it all, though he did seem to pull the blanket close around himself after the smaller skeleton had finished making sure he was completely covered up to his shoulders.

 Sans then let out a yawn and wandered upstairs to his bedroom. He felt a little uneasy leaving Papyrus on the couch like that, but he didn’t want to interrupt his sleep just to make him go upstairs to his own room. It was getting so hard for him to find a comfortable position to lay in that it really didn’t matter where he slept anymore, or how.

 Sans didn’t even bother to take his hoodie off before flopping face-first down onto his bare mattress. He didn’t fall asleep right away, instead finding himself staring blankly at the wall his bed was pushed up against. All of the worry that seemed to have melted away while he’d been curled up with Papyrus seemed to come flooding back to him.

 It was getting down to the wire now. The baby would be born within the next few weeks, and Gaster would have his new body. He’ll have achieved what he’d set out to do in the first place, though admittedly not in the way he’d been trying for. But… what then? Would Gaster’s mind return as well? Would the infant be born intelligent, or would he have to coax the memories out of him? His jaw clenched tightly at that last thought. He wasn’t sure he could bear do that, wasn’t sure if he could actively and deliberately work to take his brother’s baby away from him.

 Sans clutched at the bare pillow top of his mattress. He so dearly wished his father was there to help him in this, to tell him what he should do or, better yet, to take the burden of this horrible task off his shoulders. Of course, it was that very wish that had gotten him into this mess in the first place, wasn’t it?

 Before the skeleton could lament his situation any further, he felt a weight press down on the mattress behind him, then a familiar warmth against his back as two slender arms wrapped themselves around his stout frame. A gaunt face rested against the back of his neck, and he could feel a tell-tale trembling.

 “papyrus? hey, what’s wrong? are you okay” Sans asked softly as he carefully flipped himself around to face his brother. Papyrus immediately buried his face against his elder brother’s shoulder, likely trying to hide the tears that were already plainly obvious to him.

 “I… I-I DON’T KNOW…” Papyrus replied, clearly trying – and failing – to choke back the trembling in his voice. “Y-YOU’VE SEEMED SO UPSET LATELY, AND YOU’RE ALWAYS TRYING TO HIDE IT FROM ME… DID I… D-DID I DO SOMETHING WRONG? WH-WHATEVER I DID, I DIDN’T MEAN TO!”

 “ah, jeez, bro…” Sans replied softly, wrapping his arms around his brother and hugging him close. “s’nothin’ you did, i promise. c’mon, you know i get like this sometimes. i just… got a lot on my mind right now, is all. you don’t gotta worry ‘bout me.”

 “YES I DO!” Papyrus retorted immediately, unable to stop the sob that came out with it. “I’M ALWAYS SO AFRAID OF WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO YOU IF I’M NOT HERE TO TAKE CARE OF YOU! A-AND I HAVEN’T BEEN ABLE TO DO HARDLY ANYTHING THESE PAST FEW MONTHS! I-I’VE BEEN A TERRIBLE BROTHER!!”

 “hey, don’t say that, papy… yeah, brothers are supposed to take care of each other, but… i’m _your_ brother, too. sometimes it’s okay for _me_ to hafta take care of _you_ , like when you were still little, or at times like these when you can’t move around like you normally could. seriously, it’s _okay_ , bro. besides, you only got a little bit left to go, and then i want ya to focus on bein’ a good mama instead of worrying ‘bout me all the time. can ya do that for me?”

 “C-CAN… CAN I STILL WORRY ABOUT YOU _SOMETIMES_..?” Papyrus asked after a moment of thoughtful hesitation. Sans let out a small sigh, but smiled.

 “okay, but only worry about me _half_ as much as you do now. deal?”

 His reply was a tiny nod against his shoulder.

 “good. so… do ya wanna sleep in here tonight?”

 Another nod, this time quite a bit more vigorous. Sans let out a chuckle, pulling his brother a bit closer and gently rubbing his back in soothing circles.

 “get some rest, papy. everything’s gonna be okay… i promise…”


	10. Snowed In

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This might be a tiny bit of a spoiler, but I'd like to give a small warning ahead of this chapter. This chapter contains a birth scene that some may consider explicit. If you get squeamish at such things, you may wish to skip this chapter. You shouldn't miss too much actual plot besides the baby being born.

 “man, this sucks…” Sans grumbled under his breath, resting his chin on the back of the couch as he stared out the window. The world outside was nothing but a flurry of white, the snow starting to pile up so high that the diminutive skeleton would likely have just disappeared down into the fluffy substance if he’d attempted to step outside. Of course, he wasn’t the only one sitting there, staring out the window, lamenting what horrible luck they seemed to have.

 “Ngaaah!! Dammit, I _told_ ya we shoulda taken Papyrus to the hospital days ago! How are we gonna get him through this blizzard if something happens?!” Undyne growled out, slamming her fist against the back of the couch so hard that Sans was surprised she didn’t crack the damn thing in half. He let out a sigh, shaking his head.

 “and i told _you_ that it wouldn’t have done any good. they’d just send him right back home if he’s not in pain or in labor. besides, it’s not like you knew the blizzard was coming either. this freakin’ underground weather is so unpredictable… i’d hate ta be the weather guy right now. prolly everyone in snowdin wants ta murder ‘im right now for not calling this one.”

 “Yeah, an’ I’m right at the top of the list!!” the sea sprite shouted, shaking her fist angrily at nothing in particular. “Not only am I stuck here with you losers for God knows how long, but I’m stuck here with a pregnant skeleton that’s set to pop any day now!”

 “hey, you ain’t got no one but yourself to blame for that last bit. _you’re_ the one that wanted to sleep over just in case papy went into labor.”

 It was true, and not even Undyne could deny it. She’d been sleeping on the couch for the past several days now, intent on being there to bring Papyrus to the hospital in the Capital when it came time for him to have the baby. Unfortunately, fate seemed to conspire against them all, making the sea sprite’s stay a little more long-term than she’d originally planned on. Sans would be laughing at her predicament if Papyrus’s baby wasn’t due to be born any minute. He just hoped his brother could hold out long enough for the weather to clear up a bit, just enough that they could get him safely up to the Riverperson if they needed to.

 “S-SO, HAS IT CLEARED UP AT ALL YET?”

 Both Undyne and Sans whirled around when the voice addressed them from behind, both practically glaring at the very pregnant skeleton standing there. Papyrus flinched slightly, shrinking back a little as though afraid he’d done something wrong.

 “Hey! What’re _you_ doin’ down here on your own?! We told you not to come down the stairs without anyone helpin’ ya!” Undyne scolded in her usual brash manner, to which Papyrus could only hold his hands up meekly in surrender.

 “I-I WAS CAREFUL! I MADE IT DOWN JUST FINE, DIDN’T I?”

 “yeah, well, are you okay otherwise? how are you feeling?” Sans asked, nervously eyeing the hand Papyrus had resting against the underside of his swollen abdomen.

 “TIRED AND ACHEY, BUT I’M FINE. I’M ALSO TIRED OF JUST SITTING UP IN MY ROOM ALL DAY! I’M GETTING SO ANTSY THAT I CAN HARDLY SIT STILL! CAN’T I STAY DOWN HERE WITH YOU TWO FOR A LITTLE BIT?”

 Undyne opened her mouth, likely to tell him to waddle his boney ass back up to his room, but Sans slapped a hand over her mouth before she had the chance.

 “yeah, no problem, bro. just take it easy, will ya?” Sans replied with a small smile, seeming to put little effort into restraining the sea sprite’s brazen tongue even as she clawed at his hand to remove it from her face. Papyrus gave a relieved smile in return before turning to head towards the kitchen. Only when the taller skeleton disappeared across the threshold did Sans release Undyne.

 “Hey! What’s the deal, shrimp?!” she growled, immediately wrapping a strong hand around the diminutive skeleton’s neck. Sans pried her fingers from around his vertebrae with a small grunt.

 “hey, chill out. jeez…” he grumbled out, rubbing against a fresh sore spot at his throat. “forcing him out of his mind with boredom ain’t gonna help the situation any. this might be better, anyway. as soon as he gets back in here, we’ll just sit him on the couch and let him watch tv while we wait for the storm to clear. besides, we’ll be able to keep a closer eye on him down here.”

 Undyne narrowed her eye down at him, folding her arms across her chest as though preparing to assert her authority over the situation. After a moment, however, she let out a sigh and flopped down on the couch.

 “Alright, fine… I guess you’re right…” she more or less mumbled in reply, looking a bit defeated. Sans smiled lightly, joining her on the couch with a lazy flop. As soon as he did so, the lights in the house flickered, threatening for a moment to go out completely before returning to full power with an audible hum. He glanced up with a nervous smile, meeting Undyne’s one-eyed glare once more.

 “i’ll, uhh… i’ll just go get him before the power cuts out. don’t need him stumbling around in the dark on his own.” He announced preemptively before the sea sprite had a chance to question his decision once more. He slipped off the couch and made his way into the kitchen somewhat more quickly than he normally might have.

 Papyrus was standing at the sink – the empty glass on the counter next to him suggesting that he’d originally gone in there to get a drink of water – but his hands rested on the edge of the counter as though he were having trouble staying upright on his own, and he seemed to be staring off into space with a somewhat confused expression. A wave of icy panic washed over Sans as he dashed over to his brother’s side.

 “p-papyrus! are you okay?!” he questioned hastily as he gently tried to get the taller skeleton to straighten up a bit. Papyrus wouldn’t budge from where he stood, shaking his head stiffly in reply. Sans pressed a hand against the side of his brother’s swollen abdomen. He soon felt the normally semi-springy barrier tense sharply under his touch, and Papyrus let out a grunt of pain through tightly gritted teeth.

“o-oh shit… undyne!!” he called out, unable to hide the desperation in his voice. Undyne dashed into the kitchen without hesitation, immediately flying to Papyrus’s side.

 “Wh-what’s going on?!”

 “he’s having contractions. here, help him out to the living room. i’ll go get some towels.” Sans instructed, dashing off to the upstairs closet once the sea sprite had Papyrus’s arm around her neck to help keep him on his feet.

 “W-wait, you’re gonna do it _here?!_ Shouldn’t we take him to the hospital?!” she called after Sans as she helped the ailing skeleton out of the kitchen as quickly as he could manage.

 “yeah, look out the window and tell me if that’s gonna happen!” came Sans’s voice from somewhere upstairs. “i’m not about to take him out there like this!”

 Undyne opened her mouth to retort, but a loud cry of pain from Papyrus cut her off as he collapsed to his knees a few feet from the couch, dragging the Royal Guard down with him. She cursed under her breath, trying in vain to get the skeleton back up on his feet. Sans rushed over from the stairway at that point, his arms full with a stack of folded-up towels.

 “n-no, just leave him there. that’s as good a spot as any.” he said as he set the towels aside for a moment, helping his brother into a more appropriate position where he could lean his back against the couch. Papyrus was in no state to protest being manhandled, resting his head against the seat cushion of the couch as another wave of pain hit him, his hand clutching tightly at the fabric covering his belly. Undyne knelt at his side and managed to pry his fingers from where they grasped at his sweater, letting him squeeze her hand instead. She looked down to where Sans was kneeling between his brother’s legs, hastily spreading out the towels on the floor underneath him.

 “Wh-why do you need so many towels?”

 “skeletons tend to be, uhh… a-a little _messy_ when they give birth.” Sans admitted with a nervous smile as he took off his hoodie, tossing it off to the side where it couldn’t get anything on it. “actually, all this probably isn’t enough. with how big papy’s belly’s gotten, we’ll probably still have a bit of a mess to clean up after it’s all over. the phrase ‘he’s about to pop’ is pretty much _literal_ in this case.”

 Undyne continued to watch with considerable unease as Sans pulled Papyrus’s sweater up to expose the bulging blue barrier that encased the normally-slender skeleton’s abdomen.

 “Have you done something like this before?!” she asked, her eye narrowing suspiciously. Sans couldn’t stop a slightly embarrassed shade of blue from creeping across his cheeks.

 “no, but i was there when papyrus was born. i still remember just about everything that was done, and it all seemed straightforward enough. h-how hard can it be?” he explained, not willing to make eye-contact. There was also the fact that he’d been reviewing Gaster’s old notes on the procedure for the past month just in case something like this came up, but he wasn’t about to get into all that. He rested a hand gently against his brother’s barrier. It was already starting to get thinner, growing less springy and more fragile. It wouldn’t be too much longer now. At this rate, they probably wouldn’t have made it to the hospital in time anyway, even if the weather was on their side.

 “alright bro, you’re gonna hafta start pushing soon, okay?” Sans announced, flashing his brother a small smile that he hoped looked reassuring. Papyrus looked down at him almost in terror, tears already starting to work their way down his cheeks, mingling with the layer of sweat that had formed over his face.

 “’P-PUSH?!’ PUSH _WHAT?!_ ”  Papyrus managed to shriek out painfully between heavy, labored panting. Sans felt a pang of guilt stab at him. He’d never got around to going into detail on that part, did he? Oh well, it didn’t matter at this point. He’d just have to walk him through it as best he could. He pressed his fingers against the barrier down near where it met his brother’s pelvic bone, making sure not to press too hard.

 “push with your magic. when you feel the barrier contracting again, push down where you feel my fingers as hard as you can. the barrier might not pop right away, so don’t worry if it doesn’t happen the first time.”

 Papyrus gave a quick nod to let him know he understood, and the next contraction hit him a moment later. Sans felt his brother’s magic pushing against his hand through the barrier for just a split second before it stopped, and Papyrus let out a loud sob of agony.

 “h-hey, what’s wrong? why’d you stop?” Sans asked, brows knit in concern. He didn’t know what he should do if his brother couldn’t break the barrier on his own. _That_ was something they definitely needed the hospital for. The answer, however, was something he really should have expected.

 “I-IT _HURTS!!_ ” Papyrus whimpered out, tears now streaming freely down his face. Sans let out a sigh, but rubbed at his brother’s leg soothingly.

 “you’re kinda _having a baby_ , papy. it’s _gonna_ hurt. you just gotta bear through it ‘til it’s over. just don’t panic, keep your breathing steady, and keep pushing.”

 On the next contraction, Sans was relieved to feel that Papyrus managed to push the whole way through, though he certainly wasn’t remaining quiet about how much discomfort it caused him. Even better, the barrier seemed to be thinning further at the point where most of the pressure was being focused. That was definitely a good thing. It meant he shouldn’t have much of a problem doing it on his own from here on out.

 A few more like that brought the barrier to the brink of bursting. Sans looked up, intending to inform his brother that he probably only needed to push one more time when he heard a faint ‘pop.’ He let out a yelp of surprise when his hand – and most everything else below it – was suddenly covered in warm ectoplasm. He just barely managed to react in time to catch the tiny, wriggling infant that fell out in that same instant.

 The newborn skeleton let out a loud wail as it shivered and trembled in Sans’s hands, its little face scrunched up in discomfort at having been suddenly evicted from its rather cozy little bubble. The older skeleton couldn’t stop a wide grin from spreading across his face at the sight of it, how it squirmed against his palms in protest at being out in the cold, open air, how its little blue soul pulsed strongly within its ribcage. He’d done it. Well, no, _Papyrus_ had done it, but nonetheless… they’d finally brought Gaster back.

 Sans gingerly set the infant down on the towels covering the floor for a moment, grabbing one of the softer towels he’d brought down to clean off most of the ectoplasm still clinging to the baby’s delicate little bones. Once he was clean enough for the time being, he wrapped him up in a blanket and picked him up once more.

 Papyrus was still leaning back against the couch, fighting to catch his breath when his brother knelt down at his side. Exhausted though he was, his face absolutely lit up when he looked over and saw the squirming bundle Sans held in his arms. The shorter skeleton held the infant out to him, and Papyrus wrapped his arms around the tiny monster with careful eagerness. The newborn seemed to calm considerably the instant he was in his mother’s arms, resting his head against Papyrus’s chest and clinging desperately to his sweater.

 “so, whaddaya think? he’s pretty cute, huh?” Sans whispered softly, not wanting to speak too loudly around the baby. Not that it really mattered much in this case. After all, the kid had just spent nine months inside _Papyrus_. He’d probably be used to loud, obnoxious voices already.

 Papyrus looked over the infant lovingly for a moment. Suddenly, his smile flicked away, his brows knit in concern. Sans’s soul clenched in guilt as he watched his younger brother delicately trace his thumb along the prominent crack running from the baby’s left eye down to his mouth, and he could tell the lanky skeleton’s gaze was fixed on the other large crack leading up from the infant’s half-closed right eye as well. Papyrus then looked up at Sans once more, a look of pure panic on his face.

 “D-DID _I_ DO THIS?! DID I PUSH TOO HARD?! I-IS HE HURT?! OH GOD, _WHAT DID I DO?!!_ ” he asked frantically, tears welling up in his eyes once more, this time in absolute terror at having possibly hurt his little baby.

 “h-hey, take it easy, bro!” Sans assured immediately, placing a hand on his brother’s shoulder to keep him steady. “h-he’s perfectly fine, i promise! those are just, uhh… birthmarks! y-yeah! th-they don’t hurt him at all, they just look a little funny. hell, they might even close up as he gets older.”

 It was a bold-faced lie, and Sans knew it. He knew good and well that those particular deformities were more than simple birthmarks, and he knew they wouldn’t go away. But what else could he say? Nothing had gone wrong in Papyrus’s pregnancy, and he’d genuinely done nothing wrong while giving birth. There was no way he could tell his brother that those cracks were simply _supposed_ to be there because Gaster had been born with them before.

 Even so, Papyrus seemed to calm down a bit at that explanation, running his finger gently along the crack once more and watching for any flinch or twitch that would have suggested pain on the infant’s part. The baby, now quite content in his mother’s arms, didn’t twitch in the slightest. Instead, he reached up and curled his tiny little hand around Papyrus’s fingertip. A warm smile soon melted its way back onto the lanky skeleton’s face, his earlier scare all but forgotten.

 “So, uhhh… What’re ya gonna name him?” Undyne chimed in finally, peeking over Papyrus’s shoulder to get a better look at the little tyke.

 “I WAS THINKING ‘GASTER.’” Papyrus responded thoughtfully, at which point Sans nearly choked on his own tongue.

 “i-i’m sorry, _what?!_ ” the elder skeleton exclaimed without thinking, causing the infant in his brother’s arms to squirm and let out a whine that almost threatened tears. He was a little too distracted to feel bad about that at the moment. Had he heard that correctly?! How did Papyrus even _know_ the name ‘Gaster,’ let alone decide that it was a fitting name for a newborn who, after all, _really was Gaster?!_ The younger skeleton merely arched a brow in confusion, rocking his son gently to calm him down.

 “I SAID I WANT TO CALL HIM ‘ _ASTER_.’ IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH THAT NAME?”

 Sans could only stare for a moment. Oh, so he had heard wrong after all… But, with a name so similar, it simply couldn’t be a coincidence, could it?

 “uhh… nothin’ wrong with it, but… why do you wanna name him that?”

 “I… I DON’T KNOW. I JUST DO. IT POPPED IN MY HEAD ONE DAY AND I LIKED IT. WHY? DO YOU NOT THINK IT FITS HIM? SHOULD I THINK OF SOMETHING ELSE?”

 “n-no, no. it’s fine.” Sans replied, giving his brother one of his usual goofy grins. He then looked down at his nephew once more, reaching over to gently poke the little guy’s nose with a soft ‘boop.’ Aster merely stared at his uncle’s finger for a moment before reaching up and grasping it. He then led it, as babies often do, right to his little mouth, proceeding to drool all over the adult skeleton’s fingertip as he nommed it. Sans couldn’t help but let out an adoring chuckle.

“yeah, i think aster works just _fine_.”


End file.
